Do You Have What It Takes to Be a Chess Master?

Do you consider yourself a chess Gryffindor? Then you might have been up against a chess Slytherin. Every chess enthusiast would readily admit to having faced a colorful array of opponents playing the game. The demeanor a player displays while pondering his next move reveals a lot about what kind of chess player he is.

Below is an attempt to present a classification of chess players you might have had the fortune (or misfortune, as the case maybe) to play with. You might fall into one of two of these categories, mind you.

The Flatterer. He tells you right after you lose that you were just out to let him win. This makes it clear that he will not place a bet on the game, if that is what you're thinking.

The Finical Guy. He repeatedly asks your permission to touch the pieces to adjust them so that each of them occupies the center of the square. He will not stop until everything is in place.

The Singer/Whistler. He annoys you only if you do not like the song he is singing or whistling.

The Conductor. He makes a gesture of touching a piece, suddenly waves his hand with an invisible baton, slowly reaches for yet another piece, changes his mind, repeats the whole routine, and so on...

The Skeptic. Once you have moved a piece, he nervously points you to the squares you are threatening to go to. He also asks aloud what you are up to.

The Hair Twister. He is the least irksome of the lot, unless, of course, if it is your hair he is twisting.

The Heckler. He asks you if it is his turn to move even if he knows it is not. He always sits with a bored look on his face.

The Percussionist. He thinks that chess is boring without sound effects, tapping everything he can lay his hands on.

The Intimidator. A proponent of the Shock and Awe technique, he blurts out "Attack" as he places his Queen beside your castled King.

The Should-Have-Been Bewailer. After losing a game, he frantically arranges the pieces to their position where he blundered away the game and shows anybody who would care to listen to the move with which he could have demolished his opponent.

Some players are a combination of two, three, or four of the above types. Heck, you might have come across one who is a combination of all of them.