Do You Think English is Easy?

Susan Kaul
The English language is as twisted and misunderstood and difficult to teach and very difficult to learn as anyone from another country can tell you. It isn't even English if we were to be honest with ourselves we would admit that they do not speak this way in the UK which is where English is actually spoken. We speak American in this country. But for the sake of argument let's just call it English and the following examples are why it is so difficult to learn or teach.

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out..

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row...

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

(the example sentences were shared with me by a friend.)

Published by Susan Kaul

I am a registered nurse of 40 years experience. My background in nursing includes med-surg, orthopedic, cardiology, alcohol/drug withdrawal, treatment and rehab psychiatry, and the last 10 years I have been...  View profile

8 Comments

Post a Comment
  • Darren Koobs5/11/2010

    I love talking about how confounding English is. I went to school with a guy from London, and says all Brits accuse Americans of slaughtering their language...which is true, of course. I imagine it's because current English is an amalgamation of old French, German, Norse, Saxon, etc. It's just a theory.

  • Tony Payne4/23/2010

    We only do it to confuse the foreigners :)

  • Becca Greiner4/16/2010

    That was fun to read! I guess English is all about understanding the context of something - it is not simply verbatim! I still think French would be pretty hard to learn though too (something about the spelling) :)

  • Malina Debrie4/16/2010

    I love it and as you so well demonstrated, Heck no! English is not easy!

  • Fran Brockmyre4/16/2010

    Great piece. I agree and so admire people from other countries who become fluent in English (I mean American).

  • Michele Starkey4/16/2010

    And the slang? It gets even worse! "Bad" means good, now. Cheers :)

  • Bobbi Leder4/15/2010

    I totally agree; English is a confusing language.

  • Taylor Rios4/15/2010

    lol - those were some mind benders! I heard somewhere that English is the most difficult language to learn

Displaying Comments

To comment, please sign in to your Yahoo! account, or sign up for a new account.