Do We Really Want to Hear the Truth?

If we are to look at the definition of "truth", it is the true or actual state of a matter. It is a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, or principle. Almost everybody will say that we don't want to hear the truth because "truth hurts". However, I would argue that we are social beings and our decision about the desire or reluctance to hear the truth actually depends on what role we play in an interaction. In every situation, our active or passive participation defines the form in which truth gets established. I can think of three forms:

1. Truth to be known
2. Truth to be told
3. Truth to be heard

The greatest level of participation obviously can be guaranteed for the "truth to be known"; especially, if it is the truth about somebody else. We want to know the truth, period. If a situation or an individual affects us directly or indirectly, knowing the truth can help. We can assess what to expect and how to protect ourselves with the right piece of information. However, even if it doesn't involve us and there is really no need to know "it", we volunteer to receive the information. It can be in the form of gossip or reading the tabloids. Gossip can again perpetuate on a personal level or through reading gossip columns, or watching programs on showbiz. That is because we cannot contain our curiosity. One way or the other we have to get the information. We get some sort of "inexcusable" satisfaction by violating someone else's privacy.

When it comes to "truth to be told", all of a sudden, the number of active participants dramatically fall. Telling the truth gets us exposed. There is a question of ownership that comes with it. If it is an unpleasant truth that will keep on circulating with the speaker's name attached to. What if it is really not true? What if it hurts somebody's feelings? What if that person knows something about me and now decides to reveal that? Therefore, you can see that what and how we deliver the truth is based on our own selfish motives. Some of us, however, possess the art of diplomacy through which we deliver the truth in a suave way. That is because we want to keep our conscience clear and at the same time still want to associate with that person. Therefore, this too is based on what we prefer as the outcome.

There are many different types of people in this world. Some are truly mean and they don't care. They will say the bitter truth just to insult another person. They are always looking for an opportunity. On occasions, in an attempt to undermine a person, they say it without verifying the fact. As a result, they end up crossing the line. Truth gets buried under exaggeration or falsification. I'm sure you know how to identify and isolate yourself from those individuals.

Now, the last category: the "truth to be heard". It falls partially under the category discussed above. If it is a truth that does not involve us, we "don't mind" hearing. Remember the word "gossip"? Even if you don't participate, keep your mouth shut, it doesn't hurt to hear the truth!

Then again, truth is the most unpleasant and undesirable version that can exist. Truth can expose our faults. We don't appreciate when somebody says something about us or says something in our face, even if it's the truth. We label that for being "rude". Truth is so powerful that we fear to face it; just like we are scared to know the grade received after taking an exam.

How much truth we really want to hear depends on how well we want to use the power of truth. Smart people decide to hear the truth often. But unfortunately, this group is the smallest. Very few of us have that strength of character. Long-lasting relationship can be formed based on how true we are. All of us long for good friends and family. We definitely don't want back stabbers among us. We want our friends and family to be truthful and let us know something before talking to others about it. Healthy exchange of truth helps build such relationship and too much sensitivity to truth hinders that. It requires a lot of effort and we have a responsibility to nurture that quality through both "telling" and "hearing" the truth. Incorporating such practice a little bit on a daily basis can be a good start toward becoming a better person and together we can make a better society. No matter what, truth should always prevail. Whether we like it or not, whether we want to hear it or not, we are always faced by the truth; sooner or later, the truth about any issue at hand comes to light.