Do You Wish You Had More Friends? Moochers, Etiquette and You

Don't you just hate MOOCHERS? Can you pick out all those moochers in your life? Moochers share these common personality traits, they are all: Self absorbed, self centered, selfish and cheap. They act like world revolves around them. There are people who are food moochers, opportunity moochers and money moochers.

Moochers go beyond helping themselves to your food, drink and booze without sharing or repaying what they have eaten and drank. It goes even further than they not bringing anything over when you invite them to eat at your house. Even inviting themselves everywhere they are not invited to go. Moochers have no etiquette, they are all about themselves. They take advantage of others especially generous people. They make others spend all their money, while moochers always say, "they have no money" but will still eat off your plate and breath your air wherever you go, while they save ¾ of their paycheck.

When did etiquette lose respect in social living? I grew up taught to say, "No thank you" no matter what a person offered me. It is etiquette to ask someone if they want a piece of gum, a hamburger, a piece of candy, or whatever you are eating, but it is also etiquette to say "no thank you". I think people have stopped using etiquette in this case to avoid people actually saying "yes" to whatever you are offering them. Therefore people will eat in front of you without asking if you want any, which then makes them rude. It's a vicious cycle that a simple "no thank you" would have made everyone in check with etiquette.

Emily Post a pre-war writer and socialite became the Martha Stewart of Society and how to act in it. Etiquette is a code of politeness and respect and care for those around us. Respect and etiquette gives us the confidence to enjoy the moment and know that we are doing the right thing and covered all the bases so no one is disrespected or feels badly. It is a code that makes sure everyone is thoughtful and mindful of one another.

People nowadays I think, feel that etiquette is what the high society folk do, not the common folk. Good manners, good speech and how to least offend people was the core of the birth of etiquette. Emily Post's first book on etiquette was the second most popular book stolen on the public library next to the bible.

Some examples of Emily Post Etiquette with a modern twist:

1. When a person says, "How are you"? Etiquette suggests you answer with, "very well thank you, and how are you"? The rude response would be actually listing all the things that are wrong..."I have a headache and I am PMS-ing along with a litany of ailments. When a person asks, "How are you"? it is merely to start conversation or keep it going, not to actually hear all your problems.

2. People who like the company of one or more friends may say "want to go have dinner, or let's get some pizza". This doesn't mean that the person who brought it up is paying for everyone. Nor should you ask, "do you want any money for that"? Those that are participating in going to a restaurant or ordering pizza should automatically figure out what his/her fair share is in the cost of the food and automatically give it to the friend who suggested it. Too many people stay back when it's time to pay. They say, "Yes" to everything but never stick their hands in their pockets and take out money. There may be cases when the person who suggested the outing does pay for everyone, which is kind. The right thing to do is to pay back that gesture with one of your own. Go out of your way to pay for that person's food or drinks that immediately follows. Or buy dinner or get tickets for that person and treat them. Never take advantage of someone's generosity.

3. If there is food, drink, gifts, merchandise that belongs to someone else, including a family member, and if they don't offer it to you, don't ask if you can have some! That puts the owner of that food, drink and merchandise on the spot and they may say, "Yes", because they feel bad to say, "NO". Just make believe it's not there and go buy your own.

4. If you ask someone you care about, "what do you want for your birthday" and that person is modest or doesn't know or embarrassed to say a particular thing, and responds, "nothing". Well that doesn't mean you actually get nothing. You're not off the hook, don't be cheap. Be creative, find out where they eat, where they shop, where they get gas and get them a practical gift, which is always appreciated. Go the extra mile, especially when you get gifts from them.

5. Someone you invite for dinner that eats their portion with everyone else. But, an hour or so later is hungry again and will ask you to take out the left over's to eat again. Then before going home will ask for some leftover to take home. Clearly, overstepping your welcome. Never ask to eat again when at someone's home. Go home hungry and stop for fast food on the way home if you have to but don't eat more than once or worse ask to take food home. That is disrespectful to the host who might have plans for those leftovers.

6. People who bring their own "take home containers" should never be invited over for any meal or function where food is involved. That shows clear rudeness and cheapness, especially if they don't bring anything when they come over.

7. When you are planning dinner and you have guests that say, "I'm on a special diet and won't eat more than a cup of pasta or won't eat any bread or any pork or beef kabobs, etc". As the host you figure out from everyone's response how much to make. Those with the special diets have said they aren't eating much, so you make less. Here comes dinner time and the food is at the table and all of a sudden the food is not enough because, those with the "special diet" who said they were eating very little or not at all, have all of a sudden changed their tune and are eating twice as much as everyone else. That is rude and it basically sabotaged the hostess' dinner. Now the hostess has to scurry to find other things to place at the table and is courteous and starves, not putting more than a leaf of lettuce on her/his plate so that others could eat.

8. When invited to someone's home, it is imperative to bring something. Whether it is an appetizer, some fresh bakery bread, dessert, or wine is the right thing to do if you are eating there. If you are visiting as well as a hostess gift, buying some flowers or a plant or some other gift should also be brought. It is wrong to bring home whatever is left over of the food dish, cake or cookies you brought or corking what is left of the wine and bringing home. Or, drinking or eating up all of what you brought just because you brought it. A contribution is an appreciated gesture on your part that you want to show the host.

9. Just in time for holiday Kris Kringle gift giving. There's always a budget that your circle of friends or family commit to for buying that gift. Say you requested a DVD of a movie or CD of a music band. The person who had you went to the library and took out copies of your request, took it home, burned CD's and DVD's and gave you that for your gift. The budget was set for a reason. This gift is a cheap, non respected and rude way of fulfilling someone's request.

No one likes a mooch. It would be quite enlightening if some people reading this article see the same patterns in themselves as they hate seeing in others we have called mooches. If any of you reading discover you are indeed sharing traits of being a mooch, there is hope. The first step towards recovery is acknowledging that you are a mooch. The second is behavior modification and knowingly change your ways and start "repaying" all those people you mooched off of, and don't forget family, it's easy to mooch from family. Eventually, you will regain popularity, but not without skepticism, especially if you slip and forget to pay someone back for a favor or food or movie tickets or something you did together with them.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/rss/search_article_moochers+etiquette_______,,.xml