Do Women Hesitate to Be Friends with Gay Men?
A Matter of Mixed Feelings
There is even an article which links gay men with the assertion of a maternal instinct. This means that, because gay men are seen as different, they arouse the sympathies of caring women.
With all this information, then, is it possible to understand why women might hesitate to be friends with gay men?
Hesitation Isn't Rejection
It is worth noting that women's hesitation to be friends with gay men doesn't necessarily mean they are rejecting gay men as loathsome sexual oddities.
Instead, women might hesitate to be friends with gay men because of a large assortment of mixed feelings which lead to confusion and a fear of doing or saying inappropriate things.
These mixed feelings can be outlined in the following ways.
I. The Fear of Romantic Disappointment
It is fair to say that the main reason why women hesitate to be friends with gay men is that women realize in advance the limitations of the friendship.
Especially for the romantic woman who is drawn to the gentle soul of the artistic and compassionate gay man, the possibility of being disappointed about the lack of a romantic component with her gay friend might cause her to just completely avoid the situation.
She might love him, even though she can't quite love him in the way she needs to. Women might hesitate to be friends with gay men, therefore, in order to protect the feelings of everyone.
II. The Fear of Having the Wrong Motives
Women might hesitate to be friends with gay men because of the fear of having the wrong motives.
This makes sense in view of a woman's desire to be seen as open-minded about sexual matters. Is she being friends with a gay man because she really likes him or because she is trying to be impressive with her liberal thinking?
This concern about having the wrong motives shows that women can still be caring, even though they might hesitate to be friends with gay men.
They are caring because they don't want to involve another human being in their own personal conflicts.
Women often want to be friends with men. They just don't want to be friends for the wrong reasons.
In sum, women might hesitate to be friends with gay men. This doesn't refer to the presence of maliciousness or bigotry.
Women might simply be dealing with an assortment of mixed feelings about the situation and prefer to avoid the situation altogether.
Published by Dan Reveal
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17 Comments
Post a CommentGreat article, thanks Dan!
ps I am not a mom, have no maternal instincts, so to speak..I just know good people when I meet them. :-)
I am glad you wrote about this subject. Many of my longest lasting friendships are with gay men. They are sweet and very non judgemental and know how to open up, be honest and real. No petty jealousy or hate...only love. :-) Good work, my friend.
A fascinating subject, and a very well written article. Thanks!
interesting
Very interesting point of view and good article!
I really loved the unconditional nature of this article. I think that when we infer agendas on people, we almost always get it wrong.
I believe the choice has less to do with gender than it does individuality. More open individuals tend to have friendships with people of many different backgrounds.
I always wanted to be friends with everyone :) cheers!!!
Interesting piece Dan. I agree with your points, and I want to add that I believe younger women tend to overlook these points and so are more often likely to befriend gay men.