Dodos on Rampage in Ohio

There have been many reports in recent weeks of dodo sightings in Ohio, but nothing had been confirmed until early today, when a mother dodo and her two babies were found in a disused barn near Canton.

Local farmer Tom O'Hawk said: "I come from Texas originally, and we don't have dodos down there, though everything else there is big. Anyhow, I found these three critters with big beaks, and they looked mighty upset that I woke 'em up. I thought they were hummingbirds at first."

Local police rushed to the scene, and the three dodos were escorted out of the area. The locals said: "We've never seen anything like it."

Respected zoologist Anna Key said: "Dodos are large, flightless birds. They normally have 60-70 young at a time, but are very independent pretty much as soon as they're born. They can also conceive a few days after being born, so the state of Ohio could be overrun with dodos, then America, then the world. They will destroy us all..." An emotional Anna was taken away soon after this TV interview.

Panic buying is already taking place in some parts of the state. One muscular guy in jeans, Lee Vye, was seen carrying piles of ladies underwear. "I want to go with a smile on my face," Lee said.

Canton, Ohio has been sealed off from the outside world, as the police and the army carry out a thorough search of the city. News which has filtered out suggests all the places of worship are filled with nervous residents fearing that the dodo invasion is now unstoppable.

Dodos are highly intelligent birds, and are probably on a par with the orangutan for intelligence. Young dodos can grow at the rate of two feet a week, and have a breath so foul it can knock out a man from six feet away. They originate from Spain, and migrated to Antarctica in the early 20th Century, where it was thought they had become extinct. So it is a major surprise that they should turn up again in Ohio.

Gun-toting dodos, in headbands, were seen swaggering through Akron, Ohio, and met with little resistance. It looks as if things will get worse before they get better.

Happy April Fools Day everybody! Yes, the gentle dodo was wiped out by man. But I kinda think if these birds came back for a bit of revenge, who could blame 'em?

Here's a page all about the dodo - and it wasn't where I gleaned my info! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dodo