Does Divorce Harm Children?

Psychology 201-Critical Thinking

November 27, 2006

I believe that divorce does harm children both in short term and in long term. Nowadays, over 20 million children in the United States live with only one parent. Divorce is becoming a fix-all and an epidemic in this nation and parents do not think about the pain and suffering it causes their children.

The statistics against divorce are overwhelming. Jonathan Gruber performed a study looking at the long-term effects on children of unilateral divorce-divorce demanded by one spouse on no grounds other than spousal incompatibility. He came up with the facts that these children are less well-educated, with higher chances of dropping out of school-be it college or high school. He also found that they are more likely to marry early, and earlier marriages tend to end in separation. (http://www.ncpa.org/iss/soc/pd110501f.html) This statistic is also stated in Cosmopolitan magazine, which says that children of divorce are 66% more likely to divorce later on in life (Cosmopolitan, November 2006).

Even short-term harm to children is imminent when parents divorce. Although there are things that parents can do or say to lessen the effects of this harm, children seldom respond to parent's positive messages. Many kids think that the divorce happened because of them, that it is somehow their fault (http://www.divorcenet.com/states/new_jersey/best_interests_of_children_in_divorce).

A study by the Associated Press ascertained that children who grow up in single-parent homes are twice as likely to develop psychiatric illnesses and addictions later on in life as children whose parents are not divorced. They are also twice as likely to kill themselves or attempt suicide, or to develop an alcohol-related disease. Girls are three times more likely to develop drug addictions, while boys are four times more likely to develop the same addictions (http://sfhelp.org/01/research_divorce.htm).

Children whose parents divorce report feelings of loneliness, feeling less protected, and having more stress-filled lives (http://www.divorcereform.org/chilrate.html). When children get stressed, they can experience stomachaches, feelings of nervousness, trouble sleeping, and flares of anger. At a more physiological standpoint, the heart rate quickens, as does breathing, and muscles tense up. Multiple stressors make these feelings worse, which can happen in a really stressful divorce with parents fighting all the time, along with other tense situations at school or at home (http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/depts/fcs/human/pubs/copestress.html). Parents need to realize that sometimes, the only thing causing these emotional and physiological struggles is nothing more than their own divorce.

Some adults divorce out of desperation, thinking that it will make them happier than staying married to a spouse with whom they don't get along well. However, in a study conducted by the National Survey of Family and Households, couples who divorced their significant others were no happier than couples who stayed married despite individual differences (http://www.americanvalues.org/html/r-unhappy_ii.html). Basically, they came to the conclusion that many couples get divorced even when they don't have to. Couples who get divorced when it is unnecessary would end up causing more harm to their children.

Another problem for children of divorce is coping with stepparents. Most divorced parents (especially parents of preteens) remarry within three years of the divorce. When parents start dating, kids usually feel betrayed, and these feelings of betrayal intensify as their parents remarry (http://www.ziemang.com/pnm_articles/0102steppr.htm). My own father told me about the same feelings he had after his parents got divorced. His father died soon after the divorce and his mother remarry about six different times. He never had a solid father figure and some of the men his mother remarried were detrimental to the family-one even tried to molest my father's older sister. As one can tell, things can go terribly wrong for children when stepparents come into the picture.

My research has concluded that divorce harms children in both the short-term and the long-term, in psychiatric and physiological ways. Many unstable marriages can get better without a divorce, and many divorces do not make people happier. Sometimes stepparents can do more harm than good, and children are overall better off with parents who are married.

References

Daily Policy Digest. (2001, November 5). Does Unilateral Divorce Harm

Children? National Center for Policy Analysis. Retrieved November 18,

2006, from http://www.ncpa.org/iss/soc/pd110501f.html

Divorce Mediation Solutions. (2005, April 20). Best Interests of Children in

Divorce. Divorcenet.com. Retrieved November 18, 2006, from

http://www.divorcenet.com/states/new_jersey/best_interests_of_children_in

_divorce

The Associated Press. (2003, January 24). Study Says Broken Homes Harm Kids

More. Stepfamily Information. Retrieved November 18, 2006, from

http://sfhelp.org/01/research_divorce.htm

Gallagher, M. (2005, November 7). Divorce Reform Page. Americans for

Divorce Reform. Retrieved November 18, 2006, from

http://www.divorcereform.org/chilrate.html

DeBord, K. (1996). Helping Children Cope With Stress. North Carolina

Cooperative Extension Service. Retrieved November 18, 2006, from

http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/depts/fcs/human/pubs/copestress.html

Waite, L., Browning, D., Doherty, W., Gallagher, M., Luo, Y., & Stanley, S.

(2002, July 11). Does Divorce Make People Happy? AmericanValues.org.

Retrieved November 18, 2006, from

http://www.americanvalues.org/html/r-unhappy_ii.html

Zieman, G. (2001, February). Step Parenting: Realities and Tips. Parenting New

Mexico. Retrieved November 18, 2006, from

http://www.ziemang.com/pnm_articles/0102steppr.htm

Appendix

Ramon: Looked up information, thought of rebuttals, thought of arguments, read Slife textbook, and configured debate structure.

Katrina: Looked up information, thought of rebuttals, thought of arguments, read Slife textbook, and configured debate structure.

Recommended Grade for Debate: A