Does God Hates Nine Year Old Girls?

News Item (Reuters, January 10, 2011): Reverend Fred Phelps, along with several parishioners from his congregation at the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, KS, plan to protest at the funerals of the six people who died in last week's shootings in Tucson, AZ.

News Item(Christian Science Monitor, January 10, 2011): "... [Arizona] lawmakers on Tuesday passed legislation that makes protests illegal within 300 feet of any home, house of worship, cemetery, or funeral home just before, during, or after a ceremony or burial...Tucson residents... intend to meet the [Westboro] picketers with human barricades and some say they will wear oversize "angel wings" to shield mourners from seeing the protesters along the funeral routes."

If someone were searching for one good reason to bring back the old Roman Imperial spectator sport of tossing Christians to the lions, that search would begin and end with Fred Phelps and his band of not-so-Merry Men. If, by some chance, the reader may not be familiar with the activities of Rev. Phelps and his Gospel Goon Squad of Taliban Christians, please allow me to enlighten.

Phelps and his minions from the Westboro Baptist (Independent) Church in Topeka, KS have devoted themselves to spreading their Lord's gospel of "God Hates Fags" by holding "protests" near the funeral services of dozens of members of the military that have been killed in action. This group is noted for its somewhat unorthodox methods of bearing witness to their Lord's Gospel, included burning American flags as well as carrying signs proclaiming "Thank God for Dead Soldiers" and their credo of "God Hates Fags."

As onerous as the beliefs of this small group of religious fanatics may be, I must admit that I find it disturbing that any state legislature would vote into law anything that restricts freedom of speech and the constitutional right of the citizens to peacefully assemble. I do not feel that I stand on edge of the metaphorically-abused slippery slope in decrying such an action, regardless of its good intentions and as a way of recognizing the rights of family members to bury their dead in at least something resembling dignity.

Just as onerous, if not more so, is the reaction of those who, for the sake of five minutes of face time on the evening news, seek to blame "the Right," "Sarah Palin," "Rush Limbaugh," or "the Tea Party" as "inciting" the accused gunman or even being directly responsible for his actions by running some great conspiracy that, in fact, exists only between the speaker's ears.

Getting back to Freddie the Fear/Hate Monger, I wonder if he and his parishioners will carry a sign proclaiming "Thank God for Dead 9 Year-Old Girls" or perhaps "God Hates Federal Judges Who Were Appointed by George H.W. Bush"? As to the plainly benevolent response of the citizens of Tucson, might I suggest that they stay home and instead delegate responsibility for their planned protective shield to the Arizona Chapter of the Hell's Angels Motorcycle Club. Given the proximity of Tucson to several units of the Arizona Department of Corrections, I'm sure that the Angels would have no trouble in assembling suitable manpower on short notice to accomplish the citizens' wishes. Not only would this save the residents of Tucson from the stress associated with encountering a group of bigots that hide themselves behind a Bible, the Hells Angels could very easily demonstrate to these same bigots what it feels like to be on the receiving end of intolerance.

You know, after all of this I actually hope that there is indeed a God because if there is, I want to personally thank Him for the fact that I'm not a liberal, or a "Tea Partier," or some other label that is all too often used in contempt. Come to think of it, I might just thank Him for the fact that I'm not a Christian.