Does Good Parenting or Heredity Matter More?

Last week sometime I came across an article that made me think. The gist of it was that kid's personalities have more to do with heredity than good parenting. I immediately thought of my son and his uncanny personality resemblance to my brother. I have to admit, there is something to this theory. Why else would there be two "germophobic", anal, kind-hearted, non-judgmental people in the family who play guitar, solve problems in the blink of an eye and instinctively follow a righteous path? Still, I have to believe good parenting has something to do with kids personalities. Why?

I've seen my share of bad parenting. I've seen what it does to kids self esteem. I've seen kids with great potential turned into kids who can't cope with the world on their own. I've seen perfectly normal children turned into psychotics by parents who neglect and abuse them. I've seen extremely intelligent talented children withdraw into hermit like lives.

I've seen seemingly unreachable children shine. We all know parents who have the talent to take a helpless, hopeless, suffering child and turn them into an amazingly successful adult. I've even seen adults pulled up from the ashes to excel later in life. Kid's basic personalities may be formed genetically. Good parenting takes those basic characteristics and refines them.

Average parents have average children. Those in the middle generally have children who neither excel, nor retreat. Some might call these "normal" children. Their parents are competent enough to keep them out of trouble yet mundane enough to produce no rocket scientists. They are kind, yet humble. They're content with never attaining fame and fortune.

Is it genetics or parental influence? If you are close enough to follow a child's path through life, their parent's influence will shine through. Parents who yell at their kids have kids who yell at their parents. Parents who are patient and loving have kids who reflect those qualities. In fact, I've seen just about everything displayed by parents reflected in children. Is that hereditary or conditional?

It's a combination effort. If you think of all the kids you've seen being parented, it's obvious both heredity and parenting have shaped their personalities. It makes no sense to say one or the other is largely responsible. Good parenting takes a child's inherit qualities and nourishes them. Bad parenting takes those same qualities and smothers them. When it comes to forming the personality of a child, parenting matters at least as much as heredity. If it didn't we'd all be exactly the same.

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