Does Housework Make a Home?

I was thinking about housework the other day (cause that's more fun sometimes than doing housework!). I am trying to decide what the proper balance is. I mean, I want to have a neat, clean and tidy home, and that just plain takes work. But honestly, I don't really mind the work. There's something very satisfying about tidying up the house. One of my favorite Laura Ingalls Wilder quotes, from the Missouri Review article on farm wives, is "Our homes can be as pleasant as we care to make them." That really resonates with me. Just like everything else, how pleasant we make our homes is a choice we make.

The problem I have is the sheer amount of things there is to do, so many details, all needing to be done over and over and over again, with no real end in sight. I am blessed to be a stay-at-home mom, which means I am pretty much my own boss. Sometimes I'm a slave driver! I tend to think of absolutely everything that could ever be done and think I must do it all at once. Sometimes, no matter what I'm doing I feel guilty, because I think of something else I should probably be doing more. Or no matter what I accomplish, it doesn't seem like enough because of all the things I have yet to accomplish. That's no way to live.

My husband has been slowly teaching me a better way (well, he doesn't teach slow, but sometimes I'm a slow learner). I still have one of my monster "To-Do" lists that I left laying around one busy, busy day. When I went back to find it later, I saw that my husband had penciled in "**TAKE A NAP**!" right in the middle of it! It made me laugh, and I kept it to remind myself that sometimes I can get so busy doing things FOR my family that I have no time to spend WITH my family! Now that my kids are grown I can honestly say that when they reminisce, they never mention how super clean and neat the house was. Instead their fond memories are of things their father and I did with them - not for them.

So I am trying to find the balance. After all, as someone has said, "We are human beings, not human doings." And as the Bible says, whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might. So I have decided to give myself permission to do just that. When I am washing dishes, I try to enjoy the feel of the warm water and the time to daydream or sing. When I am visiting with a friend, family member or neighbor, I try to concentrate on the conversation, not the undone work. If I am reading, I try to relax and take it in. If cleaning the bathroom, I think of how pleasant the bathroom will be when I am done. My home can be as pleasant as I care to make it. Part of what will make it pleasant is the little joys and freedoms I partake of, and part is the work I put in to cleaning and caring for it. I believe enjoying each equally is the balance I have been seeking.