Does JK Rowling's Severus Snape Have Celiac Disease?

Harry Potter fans have long theorized about just why JK Rowling's most ambiguous character, Severus Snape, is so mean and ugly, other than the fact that JK Rowling knows exactly what a children's book villain should be. Fan theories on Severus Snape have included everything from the mere fact he works with potions all day to liver disease to an assortment of random magical ailments and curses. Personally, I think JK Rowling's Snape is suffering from unmanaged celiac disease. Celiac disease can be used to explain every negative train Severus Snape is described as having, except for, of course, the hooked nose.

Let's look at quotes from several of the Harry Potter books against celiac disease symptoms:

In Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, Chapter 7, JK Rowling introduces Severus Snape to us as "a professor with greasy black hair, a hooked nose, and sallow skin."

While celiac disease can't explain the nose, celiac disease symptoms do include chronic hepatitis and, if left untreated primary biliary cirrhosis, both of which would cover the sallow skin.

Those with celiac disease also have a difficult time processing fats, especially when continuing to consume gluten. Many with celiac disease report that their skin and hair become less greasy after going on a gluten-free diet.

In Harry Poter and the Philsopher's Stone, Chapter 14, JK Rowling adds to her description of Severus Snape and refers to his "uneven, yellow-ish teeth."

Dental discoloration is a celiac disease symptom predominantly in those who have had celiac since childhood, something I'll argue for in the case of Snape in the next set of quotes. This celiac disease symptom I can also confirm from my own personal experience as well as that of many people on the celiac disease community on LiveJournal.

In Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Chapter 28, JK Rowling gives us a look at the young Severus Snape and says, "Snape-the-teenager had a stringy, pallid look about him, like a plant kept in the dark."

Due to intestinal ulceration from gluten reactions, thos with celiac disease have a very hard time absorbing nutrients. Those with untreated celiac disease may become malnourished and this can result in anemia, weight loss and delayed growth. Many celiac disease informational sites also just list this as "failure to thrive" - and if that doesn't conform to the description of Severus Snape as a plant left in the dark, what does?

Finally, I don't need to quote JK Rowling's Harry Potter books to remind everyone that Severus Snape is irritable, mean and often arbitrary in his rages. While this can easily be attributed to Severus Snape's role in the emerging conflict of the Harry Potter series, stress, and his horrible students, it can also be blamed on celiac disease - crankiness, irritability and moodiness are considered major symptoms, ones that can be largely corrected through switching to a gluten-free diet. Someone alert the house elves.