Does the Perfect Husband Exist?
The History of Perfect Wives
In the 1950s, people expected a lot from women. The woman stayed in the house, cooking, cleaning, tidying up so that the husband wasn't upset. The husband would come home, see that his darling wife cooked something delicious, and would relax. He ate his meal as he ranted, wife smiling, sometimes nodding. Nothing was questioned -- not his lateness, not his attitude, and definitely not why he didn't help around the house.
In the 1950s, women were below men. Women didn't have a say. They just sat, cleaned house, and as men put it, shut their mouths. Husband made a mess? Well you're the wife, why don't you clean it up?
That was the history of the perfect wife. The perfect wife didn't speak against her husband. She did the chores, cooked the food, and made sure he was happy. The similarities to Gor are striking.
It's not 1950 anymore, right? It isn't, but the attitude hasn't died out. A loud wife is a bad wife. Men aren't expected to do the chores; that's what wives are for, right?
Why There Isn't a Perfect Husband
Women don't talk about the perfect husband for many reasons:
- Women don't expect perfection. They expect loyalty and compassion, but perfection? Perfection is cold.
- The men usually lead the relationship. We depend on men. They guide us.
- Women think men are slobs. They're incompetent.
- Women don't want a perfect husband. They just want a great husband.
Women and men are different on so many levels -- women prefer idyllic thoughts, men prefer concrete thoughts -- which is why you'll never hear about a perfect husband. Perfection is a cold idea, with rules and regulations. Most men see the world with rules, regulations, boundaries; women see the opposite. Dreams and ideas aren't a manly thing, and rules aren't a womanly thing. Men create and build, women give birth and inspire. How many men do you know that prefer dreaming? How many women do you know that want to build structures? Barely any. Since perfection is a goal of men, you'll never hear women talk about the perfect husband. Perfection, in female terms, doesn't exist.
Perfection is a male attribute and can never be applicable to female standards.
What Do Women Want In a Perfect Husband?
Let's say you needed to define the perfect husband. You're that woman with the lazy husband. Maybe you're that woman with the husband that refuses to cry. Maybe you're just another wishful wife, hoping your husband would change something. What do you want?
Most females said they wanted:
- A man who does chores.
- A man who isn't afraid to show emotions.
- A man who is considerate.
- A man, overall, that makes life worth living.
This is what they want: a husband who shares his emotions and defines the true meaning of partnership. Some say that women just want their husband to show they're part of the partnership, not a husband rules wife scenario.
Women, what do you want from your husband? Do you want him to be there for you? Is he defining the true meaning of partnership? Think about what you need for him to be your perfect husband, and talk to him. If he wants a perfect wife, he must reciprocate by being the perfect husband.
Published by Ann Olson - Featured Contributor in Health & Wellness
When I'm not lifting 200 lbs. off the ground with my bare hands, I moonlight as a freelance reporter and diet consultant. What I do: I write regular diet and exercise-oriented columns for Yahoo! Sports, Yah... View profile
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16 Comments
Post a CommentAlso, I hear women speak of perfection all the time. On an episode of "Girlfriends," they ran down a list of things they'd like in a man. I have seen numerous women do this, so I think we do still strive for perfection. Women tend to be far choosier in the men we will date than guys do, in my opinion. I think men go more for if she's attractive, can cook, and makes him not want to sleep with other women, she's a winner. With women, there are far more than those three, like stability, feeling sexy around him, wanting to be there for him physically and mentally, and so forth.
You know, I come from a different perspective. There are a lot of resonsible and faithful men in my family, so I'd surely like a man who would stick by his woman's side. My grandfather is in about five different cooking clubs and can fix everything from a car to a roof, so pretty boys who are worried about getting their nails broken need not apply. My father is quick to clean up, so I like guys who are tidy like myself. My brother is good to keep the party going, so I like guys who enjoy being the center of attention. All of the men on my mother's side appreciate women and are willing to work 50/50 with her on chores, babysitting, and so forth, so that's something I look for. I don't have the stereotypical man that you speak of in this article, so maybe that's why I have so many issues settling for less. I see great men around me in friends and family, so that's the only guys I settle for.
Very insightful. The idea of someone being perfect is often very unrealistic.
hey, great article! i really enjoyed it :)
I think it is those little imperfections my husband has that makes him just perfect for being with me. I enjoyed this article - thank you for writing it!
I don't know anyone, other than my fiance and my family, who could possibly deal with me on a daily basis without going insane. So, I'm not perfect, and he's not perfect, but we are definitely perfect for each other.
A friend of mine makes the distinction between things need to be discovered, and others that must be created. The former are there to be found, the latter do not exist until you bring them into being. Looking to find what must be created leads to a life-long futile quest. He continues by pointing out that our "one" must be created. We need to find someone compatible, but then we must create them as our "one." Nobody is perfect, nor is anyone perfect for you, unless you choose to see them that way. As for the asymmetry between men and women, I believe it has more to do with the (still existing) gender inequality in society. Women more than men feel that time is not on their side in finding a good mate. Which may be why men allow themselves to be pickier (on average).
great article!! i don't think perfection exists but i think finding the perfect person for you is definitely attainable!
I have to agree with you. We want a great husband who will care for us. My husband isnt perfect whatsoever but I love him anyway. I've learned to accept those imperfections. great article!
My hubby is perfect for me! ;)