Does Time Change Over Thirty Years of Child Abuse?

This story is one based on true events. The nature of the story forced a change of names, places, innocent by-standers, not-so-innocent bystanders, and the welfare office as well as unscrupulous parents that should never been given the right to have children in the first place.

Circumstances and age differences made it possible for these two women to find a chance to know each other better considering the life each lived. Both are the result of broken homes, abuses of many types, and both spent their childhood walking over hot coals. Each felt as if there was no way out of the situation they found themselves. Many officers feel they have better thigns to do wtih their time than break up fights amongst families. Instead, it is more glamorous to take down a drive-by shooting, ring of thieves, or other illegal crimes except domestic abuse where the life of a child forever changes and innocence is lost. These children spent a lifetime in trouble, fearful of police, and fearful of getting caught in the system due to the fact that so many in the peace officer field do little to ensure the faith of a child in the establishment put into place to assist them and keep them safe. Many of the children who do come forward learn quickly upon entering the witness booth that nobody wants to hear truth. The truth is what comes from the mouths of the adults, never the children. The children return home to a life full of abuse again only this time they think twice before contacting the law enforcement officers who will never believe them. Further contact with law enforcement can literally lead to more abuse and possible murder.

Mallory Wyer's childhood was much like that of Liza Daum. Mallory did everything she knew to do yet nothing helped until she finally became of age where she could leave home for good without fear of retribution or having someone drag her back home.

It is most likely that many people are asking why the child did not simply leave home. Well, this was impossible on so many levels. The first level is that her father threatened to kill her if she ever attempted to leave. Secondly, she had a younger brother that would bore the brunt of abuse had she made a run for freedom and safety. Next one has to ask the hard question, if Mallory did leave and took her little brother with her, she would have a difficult time finding work. How many places will hire a child between the ages of 10 and 14 years old? It is illegal so therefore there was no money, not chance at making money, and the need to remain as far beyond the radar as possible if she had taken her brother away from such an environment.

Mallory pleaded, cried, and begged her mother to leave their father so many times. Following beatings that nearly cost her mother's life, she did in fact leave and took the children with her. The release of pressure of living with an abusive alcoholic father is the fact they are great manipulators. More unfortunately is the fact that most women caught in such relationships are apt to fall for the manipulations. It reminds one much of the old saying that goes, "you can't see the forest for the trees." It is a state of mind. Despite Mallory's wishes to remain where they were or keep moving by living out of the car did nothing to dissuade this woman to leave this abusive man alone. The only part of Mallory's life that kept her sane was her books and her diary. During one of the flights from disaster, her biological father found her diary, read it, and then burned it. The diary contained evidence as well as private thoughts that could put that man behind a jail cell for life if only an officer of the court would take the case seriously.

In the end, Mallory joined the bad-boy/girl class where nobody would judge her or ask about home life since many of those children were experiencing the same thing, though all were too proud to admit it. Parties, severe drinking, and the occasional bout with drugs were the norm for Mallory. In a nutshell, she felt as if everyone in her life that was privy to what was occurring at home simply turned a blind eye to the problems despite the cuts, welts, bruises, and even black eyes this young woman carried on her body for many years.

It would be about 34 years later when fate would push Mallory and Liza together. Mallory learned from her mistakes, left the confines of their home while she was a teenager after learning there was no convincing that little brother to go with her. She felt that her mother finally saw the light and error of her ways when she dumped this bag of scum in the garbage and threatened him with jail if he ever so much as attempted to come in our direction. By this time, the damage was permanent. In many ways, the mother was not much different from the father. There was no physical abuse yet the emotional baggage placed upon the oldest of the siblings, Mallory of course, was too much. She suffered enough to be doing the parent's job. There comes a time when one can never go home again. This is how Mallory felt after leaving home and especially leaving her brother behind - at least for a short while anyhow.

It was no secret that Liza and James suffered a similar ordeal. In fact, there were two sisters out there somewhere caught in the system that were unattainable. The problem with the whole ordeal is that Mallory's mother and her latest husband adopted the two they did find, which was not giving either child any advantages; if nothing else, it made it harder on them. Mallory and her younger brother eventually quit school and began hanging out with a much rougher crowd. Mallory drank excessively to forget the pain while her younger brother began doing drugs and drinking.

The day Liza and James came to live with Mallory's mother and yet another stepfather, her heart sank. Liza was okay physically yet she had anger management problems that only a therapist could handle. At 12 years old, this put Liza in the category of statistical facts that proved she only had a 50-50 chance of going the way of the dark side or the light side. The darkside took over and her life turned upside down even more.

Liza's major problem was with admitting her mother was as much to blame for her life as it was as her father's blame. Both were at fault yet the two of them only wanted to party, do drugs, and drink to oblivion. Multiple doctors believe the reason Liza's younger brother has a mentally challenged condition in addition to blindness is due to the parents' excessive use of alcohol and drugs before, during, and after pregnancy. Worst yet, the parents thought it was funny to put alcohol liquor in the baby's bottle to see how he acted when drunk. Yes, James had a wonderful beginning to life didn't he?

The state did step in numerous times and numerous times. they allowed the children to remain in that horrible filth of a home with an addict and alcoholic of a mother. It was not until Mallory picked up the phone to call for help after her mother went on a binder and did not wake up for three days and the house had no food in it that she had no choice. What is even more horrific is the fact that child protective services placed these four children into the home of their maternal grandmother who was not any better than the mother was when it came to caring for children. She would allow the mother to visit whenever she wanted, despite the court order against any visitation. Appointments for therapy, which could help at that time, were not important enough to warrant the grandmother to take the children. Finally, a neighbor noticed the mother's car sitting in the driveway and called the police and child protective services. It only took about a year and a half to remove these children completely from the home where they were in as much danger from the grandmother as they were with the mother and the biological father.

By a fluke, Mallory's mother recognized the two children as being her husband's grandchildren. The two went through the paces of adoption to bring the children home. State-sanctioned group therapy along with individual therapy was the recommendation and the state would cover all the expenses yet Mallory's mother did not bother with anything resulting in taking time away from her time to get the family into rehabilitation and therapy.

During a weekend stay-over, Mallory, now a grown woman with children of her own in addition to a husband, decided it was time to ease into some of the issues with Liza regarding her past. At first, the child did not want to listen but when she discovered that she was not alone in her feelings of shame, guilt, victimization, and everything else she felt she finally let go. She learned that everyone has a coping mechanism that was not destructive but instead constructive. The child did perfectly well the rest of the weekend until Mallory's mother and stepfather came to pick her up. She was beginning to open up and no matter how much Mallory pleaded with her mother, she refused to allow the child to remain with her so she could get her into therapy.

Weeks became months and months became years before the child finally hit bottom completely. Mallory's mother could not accept the fact this child was not evil. All she waited out of life is for someone to love her, someone to draw a line in the same when it came to rules and show there are consequences, healthy consequences if breaking those rules.

By the age of 13 or 14, Liza's adopted mother and adopted father/paternal grandfather sent her to the first of many group homes. It began with one that allowed more leniencies. State-run homes such as these leave much to be desired even in today's times. All sending this child off did was to further instill the facts that nobody loved her enough to help her get through the anger, the hatred, to push through the hurt, and somehow manage to come out on the other side with scars and old wounds but at least having a chance at a real life.

Mallory and Liza suffered similar abuses although Liza's abuses came at the hands of her alcoholic, drug-addicted parents in addition to her mother's live-in Johns', which is another word for pimping. Mallory, had only to fight against her father physically for the most part but the fact her mother at first did not believe her and then when she accidentally walked in one morning early catching the father beating Mallory into a corner of their home, she knew although she never forced him to leave. It was some years before that came to pass.

Liza, on the other hand went from foster home to foster home waiting for someone to want her only to land in a screwed up adopted family whose only difference from her biological family was the lack of drinking and drugs. Instead of finding a home, she bounced from juvenile center to juvenile center going from mild cases to levels I, II, III until reaching level IV where the children are all under lock-down.

The lives of these two women have so many similarities. Liza worked hard to keep her siblings together yet failed miserably thanks to the state. She called out for help yet all she received for her efforts was more heartache. Mallory also cried out for help. All she received for her troubles was to have a social services caseworker come to the school to look at her back after someone complained about her father beating on her. The male caseworker entered the teacher's lounge where a pale, appalled, and speechless teacher stood there in utter amazement as she saw the blood stains from the beating soaking trough three layers of tee shirt material. The caseworker's assessment was that Mallory deserved to be beaten and should have it more often. It did not matter that the beatings were at the hands of an abusive alcoholic who was only angry because he and his wife were having a fight and instead of taking it out on her, since she had to go to work, Mallory was the next best thing.

Mallory had education, an engrossment of books, and one of the closest friends any person could ask for when it comes to discussing the difficult problems. Liza never had that until Mallory came along and even then, Mallory's mother, Liza's adopted mother, took that away from her too by putting her into the juvenile system. No, Liza's brother is still in the midst of that type of life and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it. If that were not enough, this same mother adopted a 3-year-old daughter about a year ago. There goes another life gone. Mallory did everything in her power to dissuade the adoption but nothing worked. She offered to adopt the child herself but that did not work. The mother wanted that child so badly. This woman loves the babies. It is the older children she cannot tolerate. What happens when this 3-year-old becomes a 13-year-old young lady? Will her life end up in the same manner as Liza's life or will this child be smart enough to get out while she is ahead and make something of herself despite her adopted mother? The mentally challenged little boy already catches problems because he has a difficult time remembering things from the effects of alcohol on his infant brain. He is also blind as well. How can either of these children have a life? How can the older children cope with what they endured knowing it is going on again since nobody stops this pattern of abuse as it constitutes to not minding one's own business or the filing of threats against the ones desperately attempting to help such children?

Mallory Wyer and Liza Daum did not deserve what they had to endure all those years. Neither asked to be born into such a horrible world where people treat children as commodities. They sure did not ask for the abuse suffered at the hands of those whose place it was to protect and care for them out of love of being a parent. They did not deserve the attitude and hatefulness from someone sworn to protect and care for them as foster care employees. They did not deserve the behavior of those who signed a legal document before a judge stating they would treat these children with the love, respect, and understanding that comes with being a parent whether it is from birth as an infant or the parent of a young child or teenager. It is all the same. Children are children and as such, they require a large amount of time. If nobody is willing to put in that time then the child is better off left alone to suffer in silence. All the addition of more abuse does is push the child further into a shell or worse, cause the child to exhibit anger management problems that either scenario can lead to suicide and in some cases homicide against the abusers.

If anyone suspects child abuse or if you are a child experiencing child abuse, please contact:

CHILDHELP USA National Child Abuse Hotline
Toll-Free: 1800-422-4453 (24 hours a day)

Let the person who answers know that this is an urgent call. If it is dangerous to remain on the line for long, tell them. If you are in imminent danger, leave the home and go straight to the police department Sheriff's Department. Speak to a teacher. Speak to a principal. Talk to anyone you feel comfortable enough talking to that can help you through this ordeal. Nobody should ever have to face abuse alone. It is difficult to take that first step toward getting help but trust me when I say it is worth it.

The road ahead is dark and scary. It fills with dread, anger, fear, and the unknown; however, nothing can be worse than physical, emotional, or verbal abuse from parents, adults, or even adopted or foster care families.

Contrary to popular belief, children DO have rights! One of those rights is to live in a home where the child is not afraid to go to bed or close their eyes without fear of a fight breaking down the bedroom door or having an adult come into the room in the middle of the night with the worst of intentions. Take a stand. If siblings are involved, it is even more important to get help. Once the oldest child with the strongest sense of protection is gone, the younger children will not stand a chance against the abuse suffered within that environment. Set an example by getting help and helping others to get the help they need.

Again, the number is:

CHILDHELP USA National Child Abuse Hotline
Toll-Free: 1800-422-4453 (24 hours a day)