Doll Up, Dine Out for Pennies on the Dollar

She glided down the hall like it was a high-fashion runway. We thought she was well-connected and wondered why she was gracing our shabby school with her elegant presence. Then one day, the best-dressed girl in school confided in me that she did all of her shopping at the Goodwill.

I didn't tell anyone except an elderly friend in my neighborhood. I used to drop by and sit on his steps if I saw him in his rocking chair on the porch. "Can you believe it?" I asked, after telling him her story. He nodded and said that when he was younger, he and his father had prowled the alleys of wealthy neighborhoods for items the owners had gotten bored with. They had a color TV and trailblazing electronics before most people in his neighborhood knew they existed.

He reminisced so frankly about it that it made me uncomfortable. Here it was-- twice in one day-- that someone had revealed to me that they were chronic garbage pickers. I always imagined second-hand crap as stained and useless. But at the time I was low on cash, so I decided to give it a whirl. I flipped through the yellow pages, whipped up a list of thrift spots, seized my cousin, and set out on a trash escapade.

My cousin wasn't so keen about being seen entering resale stores, so she did a lot of ducking and dodging with big sunglasses on. Some thrift shops blasted us with musty odors as soon as we cracked the door, and these same shops had slim pickings. But then, there were those set up like the clothing section of a high-fashion store, with bright lights, window displays and conceited manikins.

It was like stumbling into an alternate reality crammed with tailored suits, designer gowns and even an evening bag here or there. In some cases, the original store's tags were still on them. And as if the prices weren't low enough (as little as $6 for a two-piece suit), an announcement would come over the store mic that the red tags were half off and the blue tags were 60 percent off. It just depended on the day.

There were evening coats, wedding gowns, and I even found a prom dress! It was vogue and looked brand new. I just made sure it was not within a 10 mile radius of my own neighborhood, because I couldn't bear any spontaneous recognition incidents.

You would think that these items would fly off the racks as soon as they're donated. But when they get unloaded into a blue-collar area, they sit idly by because the locals have little practical need for white-collar pomp and circumstance. Likewise, on the outskirts of white-collar areas, you can find designer casual wear sitting untouched.

These days, if you don't fully trust the thrift store's pre-cleaning process, you can purchase a home dry cleaning kit and do it yourself. The boxed kits can be found in the laundry sections of drug stores and major supermarkets for as little as $9.99, which breaks down in the long run to about 42 cents to dry-clean each item.

And to supplement your newly acquired garb, drop by the dollar store for accessories such as stockings, nail polish or cosmetics. If you want to splurge, you can even try a pawn shop for sparkly gems. (For conscience's sake, ask the manager to show you only jewelry that was sold directly to him, not acquired due to loan payment arrears.)

Now that you're all dolled up...hmmm, where can you go? The sky's the limit! Choose the most elite restaurant you've heard of. Don your elegant wear, and spend an evening lingering over appetizers and a drink. Or appetizers and dessert. Or just plain appetizers (depending on the price list). You can people watch and revel in glamour while blending in with the beautiful people. My cousin and I did this on Saturday nights until we glided into a posh palace with no prices on the menu! We were kind of embarrassed when that bill came.

Careful thrift shop combing can net a host of household treasures, such as seldom-used appliances and furniture too. The bonus is that most thrift proceeds are streamed to charity and not stuffed into over-sized corporate coffers. Just remember to return the favor when you get bored of something that's still in great shape.

In recent years, when spring cleaners have packed boxes of junk & shoved them off on tornado survivors, a lot of people assume that's the typical charity giveaway. There is a lot of junk out there, but there are valuable items being hauled off the grounds of mansions and estates. If you don't go to the thrift shop, you'll never find it.

In just about any city, you can look up Goodwill, Saint Vincent de Paul or Salvation Army thrift stores. Keep your eyes out for the prize, but be cognizant that there are loads of thrift markets by other names (often dubbed after charities or churches).

So if you don't live on the outskirts of a wealthy neighborhood or are not plucky enough to go trash diving for silver spoons, try deep "see" diving in one of those thrift arenas.