Domestic Abuse: What it is and the Signs to Look For

Domestic abuse is often defined as abuse between a spouse or partner that leads to control and often violence. The person that does the abuse uses intimidation and fear or often times threaten physical harm or follows through with it. The abuse can occur during the relationship, while the relationship is ending and the couple is breaking up, or even after the relationship has ended.

Domestic abuse is something that occurs every day to someone you may know, like a family member or a friend. The victim of domestic violence can be male or female. Abuse of a spouse or a partner knows no age, race, or gender. It can happen to anyone whether they are in a heterosexual relationship or same-sex partners. The most common pattern of an abuser will alternate between violent, abusive behavior to then turn around and be apologetic with heartfelt promises to never abuse again. These promises often never last and the abuser often repeats his or her actions. There are three key elements of domestic abuse, and those are: intimidation, humiliation, and physical injury. When the abuse first begins it usually starts as threats and verbal abuse and then turns into physical violence. Sometimes this even turns into something more tragic like death.

There are different types of abuse. One type is physical abuse. Physical abuse is the use of physical force on your partner that ends in injury or worse. This assault on a loved one is a crime. Some forms of physical abuse are pushing, slapping, holding or restraining, choking, and sometimes assault with a weapon. If any of these are happening to you or someone you know, then it should be reported to the authorities.

Another form of physical abuse is emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is when your partner or spouse uses words that belittle you and make you feel like your worthless. It often brings down ones self-esteem. Some forms of verbal or non verbal abuse are threatening, violence to an animal or object in the presence of their lover, yelling, shaming and criticizing the victim, either alone or in front of others. Being possessive and keeping a loved one from isolation from their friends and family is another form of abuse.

There are signs to look for in someone that will determine if they are a possible abuser. If you are in the early stages of a relationship, the person you are with may become attached quick with a quick push to make a commitment to one another. Also the person may start becoming possessive. They will start wanting to know your every move, calling often to check and see where you are and what you are doing. They may start monitoring or reading your mail, as well as interfere with other relationships, like with family or friends. Sometimes your lover will become critical of you and others. They will say hurtful and cruel things. If you are experiencing any of these signs from your partner or lover, then you need to reevaluate your relationship and get out of it before it worsens.

If you are a victim or know someone who is a victim of domestic abuse, then report it. Get out of the relationship no matter how scary that may seem at the time. Usually in the end this abuse only gets worse often resulting in a tragic ending like death.