Domestic Violence: Creating a Safety Plan

When in a situation of domestic violence, the most important thing is for the victim to get distance from the abuser. However, a horrifying statistic from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence states "Women who leave their batterers are at 75% greater risk of severe injury or death than those who stay." I do not say this to make victims stay, but rather to let them know that before they leave they should have a safety plan. A safety plan will allow them the opportunity to be in that remaining 25% that get away as unscathed as possible.

The first portion to the safety plan is safety during a violent incident. You will need to plan ahead. Think about and practice how you will get out safely during a violent incident. What door would you use? What will be your escape route?

Keep your keys and purse in a place that are easily accessible to your escape route. Also you can give a set of keys to a friend or relative and let them know why they have the keys so they don't tell the abuser by accident. You can also put an extra set of keys in your work area or in a magnetic key box that attaches to underside of your car.

Let certain neighbors know about your situation and ask them to call the police if they hear suspicious noises from your house. Teach your children how to call 911. Make sure they know important information like their full names, address, etc. Teach your children to run to a trusted neighbor's house or a public place if a violent incident occurs. Create a code for your children, friends, family, or co-workers so that they will know when you need help.

Think about where you will go if you need to leave. Thinking ahead will allow you to know where and what you are going to do rather than wandering aimlessly and being in more danger. Think about places that are near by and open 24 hours a day. Places like hospitals, restaurants, grocery stores, etc. Places with pay phones where you can call 911 for help and have a public place to wait, inside. Since police officers are usually in their vehicles on patrol check to see if your local police station is manned 24 hours a day, if it is not DO NOT go there. If a police officer is not at the station you could become an easy target.

When you have finally decided to leave for good here are some things you can do to make the transition effective. Apply for aid and/or assistance so that you don't have to return to the house. Keep a kit that includes photocopies of important documents like your identification, children's birth certificates, your birth certificate, social security cards, school and vaccination records, driver's license and registration, medical records, divorce papers, passport, lease or rental agreement or mortgage payment book, bank books, insurance papers, pet licenses, vet receipts or paperwork showing ownership, passwords to any online accounts, etc. Make sure that you have money, checks, ATM card, credit cards, and keys. This information will help to protect your identity and your children's identity. They will also come in handy when and if you decide to press charges or file a protection order. You can disguise this kit as an Emergency Preparedness Kit, like the one's used for hurricane preparedness.

Knowing that you have resources that are waiting to help you like a local domestic violence program will allow you to be calmer and more in control. Keep change for phone calls at all times. Do NOT use a calling card that is linked to your phone bill. Use a payphone or prepaid calling cards from a grocery or convenience store. Or buy a prepaid cell phone to use. Do NOT use your cell phone as your abuser can use the cell number, your name, and the last four digits of your social security number to report your phone lost or stolen and have it turned off. They may also be able to view the numbers you have called via the Internet and know exactly who you have been calling for help. If you must use your cell phone, call your cellular company and give them a password that your abuser would not know to prevent access to your account. You should also either disable or change the password to the online activity log for your cell. However, if the abusers name is on the account they can show a photo ID and have the password reset or turn off your phone. Be aware that even if your services have been turned off that as long as the cell is charged you can dial 611 for customer service and 911 for any emergency. Depending on your phone service and cell phones, they may also be able to track where you are, online or through the phone company while your cell phone is in use or turned on.

If the abuser was not arrested at the time of the violent incident, it is more than likely not safe for you to return home to pick up any items. Therefore, in order to be prepared you can leave extra sets of cloths for yourself and your children and several days of any required medications at a friend or relative's house, or any place you feel safe. If you need to return to your home, call your local police or sheriff department and request a "domestic violence standby" in order to ensure your safety. Have them meet you some place close to your home. They will follow you and wait for you to get your things. Be sure to ask for the officer's business card or name and badge number. You can also let the officer know what has been going on and ask him to keep an eye on your home.

It is always best to leave when you have a plan. Having all of the items you need ready for you in case you need to leave in a hurry will be of great help to you. Be prepared, it just might save your life.

Please if you have any additional suggestions please let us all know.