Domestic Violence - Getting Out, Part Two

My children and I have been in the shelter for a little over a month, now, and I have been so busy trying to get back on my feet that I didn't realize the holidays were right around the corner. I, finally, had a lead on an apartment that looked very promising and, provided that I could afford the rent, I would be able to move us in after the first of the year. I had been trying really hard to concentrate on my therapy. When I first came here, I didn't really think I needed counseling. My husband was the one with the problem, right? After several sessions with the therapist, I realized that talking about the problems in my marriage helped. Then, there were the legal issues of divorce and restraining orders. None of this made any sense to me and if it wasn't for the legal advocates (or legal eagles, as I like to call them), I would have been lost on what to do. Having all of these things on their way to being solved, really left me with only one major obstacle-employment. I haven't worked in nearly eight years. I have little (or no) job experience. The case manager, and the rest of the shelter staff, has been great about getting me linked to various resources within the community; but I am learning that the job market in this area is tough. At that point, I would have been thankful for any employment at any pay. Needless to say, I have been very busy. So, when my son mentioned that he couldn't wait to see Santa, I went into panic mode realizing that I had no money or time for Christmas shopping.

I passed the case manager's office on my way to a group session one day and noticed a sign posted on her door for Christmas present assistance. I made a mental note to ask her about this after my session with the therapist. Everyone has been so helpful here. Even though some things are slow-going and, even, a little frustrating at times, the people here really take the time to think of everything. Every day, it seems, I am running errands or going to meetings that I hate to drag my kids to in this cold, dreary winter weather. The on-staff child care worker is heaven sent. She really takes the time to work with the kids and she gives me a lot of feedback on what they are doing when I am away.

After group, I talked to the case manager about what to do for Christmas. She offered some information about a Community Christmas Project through another agency, but I just don't have time to go down and apply. She was very understanding about this and, with a smile; she told me that the agency receives very generous donations during this time of year. She told me not to worry about it, that my kids would be taken care of for the holidays.

Not worry? Of course I would worry. My kids have never spent a Christmas away from their home and family. I knew that I wouldn't be able to make this Christmas the best they have ever had, but I wanted it to be nice, just the same. I didn't sleep much that night, worrying about the whole thing.

On Christmas Eve, the entire shelter was buzzing. The afternoon shelter staff had spent the day grocery shopping for the Christmas meal and all of the residents pulled together to start cooking. While I helped the kids put up the tree, I found myself intoxicated by the smells coming from the kitchen. Other residents were baking cookies and pies and some were putting up decorations all over the facility. There was a Santa Claus scheduled to come in for that evening.

I tried like crazy to put myself into the Christmas spirit for the kids' sake, but my concern was the next morning. Other mothers had used the Community Christmas drive-the one I had no time to attend-and were talking of all the presents they had to wrap later that evening. As it was, I had a small toy for each of my kids and that was it.

It was nearly eight o'clock when the afternoon worker came into the living room to find all of us ladies relaxing in front of the television. She told us to follow her and we formed a line behind her like little ducks. She led us to the back stairs and through a room into the basement where she told us to pick out what we needed for the kids. I was shocked. The entire area had been filled with donated toys for children of all ages. I managed to get a Dora the Explorer doll for my daughter, something she told Santa she wanted. There were so many items to choose from that I felt a little lost. When I asked the worker where everything came from, she explained that our community has always been very generous to help out during the season.

The next morning, I watched with great relief and delight as my children opened their toys (and, like most children, proceeded to play with the empty boxes) with smiles of joy and giggles of glee. Finally, my oldest came to me with a large gift bag and said, "Mommy, this is for you". The tears began to flow as I peered inside and found that it was stuffed with presents for me. I looked to the mother sitting beside me as she opened her gift bag and realized that she was crying too.

Later that evening, as we sat down to our Christmas meal, we opened with a prayer. Each person took turns thanking the Lord for the blessings they have received. When it came to me, I choked-realizing that there was one thing for which I needed to be thankful above all other things. For all the worrying that I have done, feeling alone in this mess, I realized that it wasn't just the shelter staff that cared. I thanked the Lord for the love, support, and generosity of my community.