Domestic Violence: Learned Behavior?

Does the root cause of domestic violence lie in patriarchal order formed by the norms of society? Domestic violence is a multi-generational problem, and is found in all socio-economic levels, religions, racial and ethnic backgrounds. Many abusers utilize religion as a control tactic, forcing their partners to feel condemned by their religion, and skewing the words of the bible to validate their behaviors.

Domestic violence is defined as any assault, aggravated assault, battery, sexual assault or battery, stalking, kidnapping, false imprisonment, or any criminal offense resulting in physical injury or death of one family or household member by another who is or was residing in the same single dwelling unit (Domestic Violence Incidents). Abuse can be considered as any repeated attempt to control, manipulate, or demean another individual using physical, emotional, or sexual tactics. These are primarily learned behaviors, and an abuser will utilize small manipulation tactics and continue to threaten their partners until the situation escalates. The abuser learns how to use fear to intimidate and control their partners, at all costs.

Abusers feel as though women do not have an equal role in the relationship, and do not equally participate in activities listed in the Deluth's Model of Equality, which includes responsible parenting, honesty and accountability, trust and support, respect, non-threatening behavior, negotiation and fairness, economic partnership, and shared responsibility.

An abuser use manipulative behaviors listed in the Deluth's Power and Control wheel. Included in the wheel are using economic abuse, using male privilege, using children, minimizing, denying, and blaming, using isolation, using emotional abuse, using intimidation, and using coercion and threats. What separates an abuser from a male that shares an equal relationship with his partner is that the abuser will use his male privilege to treat their partner like a servant, make all large decisions, act like the "master of the castle", and defines their partners role. Whereas, a non-abuser will utilize more equal measures to approach the relationship and their partners. The abusive behavior is learned, generally through familial experience. Abusers feel entitled to treat their partners in this fashion, which is a learned behavior, a validation of respect for them, and proves that domestic violence does not only exist through patriarchal order formed by society. Abusers have a choice in how they treat their partners.

This is further quantified by the myth being unveiled as false in K. J Wilson's text, When Violence Begins at Home. The myth states that men who batter their partners are socially inept, socially inappropriate, or violent in all their relationships. When, the reality of the situation is that batterer's exhibit a Jekyll-and-Hyde personality, where they show their "true-selves" at home, and a different personality in other relationships outside of the home.

In conclusion, there are possible predictors of domestic violence that can cue individuals to the power required of men that hold the patriarchal order in society valuable. These include, but are not limited to if the individual grew up in a violent family, if force is utilized to solve problems; if the person has a quick temper, or is quick to act; if the individual has an alcohol or drug problem; if there are strong traditional ideas about what a man should be and what a woman should be within the relationship; if the person is jealous of other relationships; if the individual has access to weapons or lethal instruments; if mood and behavior go through extreme high and low periods; if the individual treats you roughly, and ultimately, if fear is associated with behavior that has resulted from an anger outburst. Violence is a learned behavior, and it can be unlearned.

Sources:

When Violence Begins at Home. Wilson. Setpember 1997. Hunter House Publishers. Alameda, Ca.

"Domestic Violence." Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. 30 Mar. 2008.

Additional Resources: pictures

http://www.duluth-model.org/documents/NonVio.pdf

http://www.uic.edu/depts/owa/power_control-wheel_clip_image001.jpg