Domestic Violence: Your Safety Plan

Anyone who is in an abusive relationship needs a safety plan. You may not have the control to prevent your abuser's violence, but you can take measures to protect yourself and your family. You can tailor this plan to fit your own situation. Local domestic violence programs have free resources and can help as well.

If an argument occurs with your abuser, avoid rooms with potential weapons, like the kitchen, or rooms with no exit, like a bathroom.

Think about possible escape routes from your home. These can be doors, windows, fire escapes, and basement exits. Practice the escape route monthly.

If you have children, teach them what to do if a situation erupts. Instruct them to go to a designated safe place, and teach them how to use 911. Agree upon a signal or a code word to use, so they know when to take action when a violent situation arises. Share the code word with a trusted friend or neighbor as well.

Choose a safe place to go. This may be the home of a trusted friend or relative. Another option is to go to a public place that is open twenty-four hours, like a hospital or convenience store. Go to your local police station, only if you know it is staffed and open twenty-four hours.

Keep your keys and purse where it is easily accessible. Keep a spare car key in a magnetic case that you can hide under the fender or somewhere not visible on the car.

Always keep change with you so you can make calls from a pay phone. Keep in mind cell phones may not be safe, because if your abuser intercepts the bill, he can track down who you have called. Some domestic violence programs offer free cell phones that are programmed to only call 911. Memorize the number to your local shelter.

Stash cash whenever possible. Hide it in an easily accessible safe place. To prevent you from leaving, your abuser might withdraw money from any joint accounts or cancel credit cards. You can also set up a savings account and have the statement sent to a trusted friend or to a post office box.

Hide an overnight bag with a few days' worth of clothes for you and your children. Also pack medication, insurance cards, identification like birth certificates and driver's license, an address book and anything of sentimental value. Copies of important papers like vaccination records, mortgages, deeds or lease agreements can be kept in a safe deposit box.

This is by no means a comprehensive safety plan. Do not hesitate to contact your local domestic violence program. They offer free resources, and a counselor can help you devise an individualized safety plan. The National Hotline is 800-799-7233.