Dom's B-Movie Round-Up Issue #13

Normally, Full Moon pushed every one of their films like a narcotic. For whatever reason, Charles Band decided to allow 1992's "Seedpeople" to snivel in obscurity. It seemed ripe for stupid commercialization. The film boasts three distinct monsters that would have made dandy action figures. At any rate, "Seedpeople" is hard to find, even on Full Moon's website. It can only be bought as part of a box set. Don't go out of your way to procure this senseless sprig, though. It's boring. Really, really boring. The plot deals with seeds from outer space that contain vernal varmints. These varmints "infect" humans and turn them into...Seed People!

This is a pedestrian riff on "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." In fact, it's an exact replica of the "Snatchers" films, only without the tension and the social commentary. "Seedpeople" doesn't even rival fellow plant-related creature features "Day of the Triffids" and "Godzilla vs. Biollante." The acting is affected, the twists are predictable, the characters are vapid, and the camerawork is bland. "Seedpeople" looks like a made-for-TV film that would have found itself on the USA Network sandwiched between reruns of "Silk Stalkings." The special effects are solid, but the whole production lacks the passionate punch of most early Full Moon outings. "Seedpeople" was cobbled together right before the cult company parted ways with Paramount. It shows.

The Man They Could Not Hang

Boris Karloff starred in several low-budget pictures in the late 1930's and early 1940's that are almost indistinguishable today. He portrayed a mad scientist on dozens of occasions. On the whole, these vehicles involve either capitol punishment or invasive surgery. Or both. In addition to "The Man They Could Not Hang," Karloff creeped in "Before I Hang," "The Man Who Changed His Mind," and "The Man With Nine Lives." Perhaps a better title for "Frankenstein" would have been "The Man Who Belonged Dead." But I digress. In spite of its prosaic familiarity, this is a strong film, as are the others mentioned.

Karloff is stately. He sells every line, and I sided with his character throughout the whole ordeal. Karloff plays Dr. Savaard, a scientist who has invented an artificial heart of sorts. In an interesting twist of prescient prognostication, this film was made before heart transplants became a reality. At any rate, Savaard is sentenced to death for accidentally killing one of his patients. He then exacts revenge on the judge and jurors who wronged him. An unredeemable felony that "Hang" commits is the crass idiocy of the good guys. I can't go into much detail, but if anyone is to blame for the death of Savaard's patient, it is the patient's dimwitted girlfriend who taddle-tales on the well-meaning scientist. In fact, she sends the cops after him only to beg the detectives to let Savaard finish his experiment!

The third act turns into a fun slasher. Things end on a clumsy note, but all in all, "The Man They Could Not Hang" is a treat for those in love with Universal horror classics. This was a Columbia release, but you get my point. They don't make 'em like they used to.