Dom's B-Movie Round-Up Issue #3

My tastebuds have never slabbered for gialli. If you don't know what "gialli" are, then you probably aren't reading this right now. Since this review was written for the initiated, I won't bother defining geek-inclusive terminology. In any case, the only giallo that I can see myself watching again is "Don't Torture a Duckling." The subgenre just doesn't speak to me. I wasn't shocked when Armando Crispino's "Autopsy" bored the egg noodles out of me. It starts out on the right foot. A priest and a doctor investigate a string of suicides that are believed to be triggered by sunspots. Man, that sounds like a cool movie. That plot must belong to a different film altogether.

The first 15 minutes are gripping. We're treated to brutal violence, gratuitous nudity, and grisly hallucinations involving cadaver coition. The next 85 minutes...frankly, it's all a bit fuzzy. People have sex, people freak out, people have sex, people freak out, people have sex, I fall asleep, I wake up, people are still having sex and freaking out...what the hell happened here? There is a convoluted whodunit at play, but since none of the characters are empathetic, I eventually stopped trying to solve the puzzle. The actors are a no-show. The saucy love triangle closely resembles a dry lust oval. The dialogue is stilted. "Autopsy" is uninteresting from top to bottom.

This flick is applauded by giallo connoisseurs. Maybe that's my problem. If you dig on Italian murder mysteries, you may find "Autopsy" to be a pleasing affair.

The Brute Man

Reluctant horror icon Rondo Hatton stars as The Creeper (a.k.a. The Brute Man) in this lightweight 1946 Universal spooker. Hatton was a fascinating actor. He was commonly cast as a monster due to an untoward disfigurement. Hatton suffered from acromegaly, a form of gigantism that deforms bone and tissue without causing a spike in height. According to every source that I've come across, this malady was the result of an exposure to poison gas that Hatton encountered during time served in the National Guard. He died before "The Brute Man" was released. Universal sold the film out of alleged guilt for exploiting his disability. The only reason why I'm devoting so many words to Hatton's story is because he is the most engaging thing about this film.

The Creeper's backstory isn't unlike that of Hatton's. Both men were popular, handsome football players in their collegiate years. I guess that the most noticeable difference between the two is the fact that Rondo Hatton never went on a killing spree. Hatton's portrayal of the mysterious heavy is exceptional. He won my sympathy, but I'm biased when it comes to hideous outcasts a la Frankenstein's monster and The Elephant Man. "The Brute Man" itself is entertaining enough. It held my attention for 58 minutes, which probably isn't saying much. For what it's worth, Jean Yarbrough's directing is capable, the atmosphere is palpable, and suspense rears its head on occasion.

Rondo Hatton played The Creeper in two other unrelated films, "Pearl of Death" and "House of Horrors." The former was a Sherlock Holmes entry. I'm determined to seek them both out, even if it means depleting the coinage in my PayPal account.