Don't Believe What You Are Told is in the Will Until You See It

For three and a half years my father in law was dying of lung Cancer. In that time he told my husband that he had changed his will twice. Mainly too include the Grandchildren and to make some amendments. He talked about it a lot making sure everyone knew what they were getting. Not big things, it was the little things he talked about. This Grandchild gets this guitar. That Grandchild gets the collectible cars. This brother needs the van for his kids so he gets it. The house and everything in it was to be sold. Everything was to be split between the three brothers evenly. He saved over thirty thousand in his savings account so that each brother would have at least ten thousand and more once the house sold. All his debt and bills had insurance policies in case of death. He told everyone that he had everything under control.

Then he died on Sunday. Nothing was like he said it would be. There was a will all right, but not the one he said he made. The only will was from the 80's giving everything to his then girlfriend. Someone he has had no contact with in over twenty years. The money, car, van, boat, house and everything in it, oh and don't forget that bank account. All of it went to her. The total is in the hundreds of thousands going to someone he parted with on less than good terms. Those insurance policies taking care of the credit cards and debts never got put on. He thought he did it and forgot about it.

There is nothing for the Grandchildren, or even his boys. It was quite a shock. You see he never got around to doing all the things he was talking about for three years. I don't know if he thought he had more time, could beat terminal cancer, or the drugs played games with his mind. From the way he talked he had done everything. Who knew he had not.

Now his three boys are trying to cope with his death, and deal with this unexpected blow. The Grandchildren are trying to understand why they are not getting what Grandpa said was theirs. The hardest part for his three boys is that they are not mentioned in the will at all, not even a "tell them I love them".

I learned several things from this experience. Always update your will. If it is more than a couple of years old you need to update it. If a close relative is dying ask that everyone has a copy of the will. This will insure it is up to date. The executer of the will will know who they are and can take charge right away. No mix up, confusion or fighting well waiting for the death certificate. If someone is terminal make sure they start paying for the insurance that covers their debts in case of death. Check their accounts, and make sure it is done so there are no nasty surprises.

The most important thing I learned is: do not expect anything from anyone until it is in your hand no matter what they tell you. Now I have to figure out a way to explain that to my son who is waiting for the cars Grandpa told him he was getting.