Don't Ignore the Signs of a Cheater

Love is Blind, but You Don't Have to Be

Sin Lucas
If you read my last article then you know that I had a nasty break up with my ex who cheated on me and immediately turned into a totally different person once he got caught, but the fact is I should have caught him months ago, but I ignored all of the signs because I loved him, assumed that he loved me enough not to cheat and because I didn't want him to think I didn't trust him.

What to watch for?

1. The disappearing act. I never knew where he was and when he was coming back. He would say he was going here with this person and end up somewhere else with this person and this happened often.

2. He always erased all the text messages and phone logs out of his phone on a daily basis. I looked in his phone and it was empty everyday although he was always talking to people.

3. He kept his phone on vibrate and kept it under the mattress when he slept. He said there was something wrong with the phone ,and it automatically went on vibrate. The truth is the woman he was cheating with was always calling and texting him and he didn't want to draw any attention to it.

4. Whenever this so called friend and co-worker would call he would put on a grand performance. He would act like she was bothering him and he never knew what she wanted and when she called it always at night, to late for a co-worker, especially one you claim not to like to be calling you for any reason.

5. He constantly screened his calls. I screen my calls sometimes, but he was ridiculous and when it was her he never took her calls. When she called he refused to answer and when I asked him why he would say because he didn't want to talk to her, or he didn't know what she wanted or it was job related, and when I tried to talk about this "annoying co-worker" he always insulted her. He would say she was unattractive and she had no talent, blah, blah ,blah . It was all a front to hide that he was sleeping with her.

6. Endless accusations. My ex was always arguing or accusing me of something even though all I ever did was work and come home. I had no personal or social life outside of him and my family, but still he found away to accuse me of everything under the sun. This is a sign of guilt. He was guilty because of what he was doing and the more and more his guilt ate at him, the more he became a pain in the...well you know. After he got caught he admitted to me that he had been so difficult over the last few months because he felt bad for what he had done and that living with that secret made it hard for him to even look at me. Well that was probably a lie to because if it was "so hard" then he probably would have stopped.

These are just a few of the things that I noticed that I let go unchecked.

My ex wasn't smooth or smarter then i was, he just had a woman that loved and trusted him and because of my love for him I as well as those I love got played.

So, love or no love, do not ignore obvious signs because in the end you'll find out that you were the only one in love and you'll be kicking yourself for being so stupid.

Published by Sin Lucas

Sindy is the editor-in-chief for The Silver Tongue. Visit them daily at www.thesilvertongueonline.com.   View profile

12 Comments

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  • guest guest 4/27/2010

    This article is good at noticing the behavior of a cheater, but I also think it's important to look at the character of a cheater, too, so you can avoid getting involved with one entirely. What kind of personality would one have to have in order to cheat? What values would they be lacking? Do they play by the rules? Do they have the courage to be honest with you? How do they view you? If you know who they are, you'll know how they'll act...especially when you're not looking.

  • cheater 5/21/2009

    i have been on both sides of the fence. i have been cheated on& cheated as well. i did go through my bfs phone ALL the time& knew all his passwordsto everything& anytime he tried to take my phone it was an argument. i always cut it off to charge so it didnt buzz when i wasnt around& him pick it up. i told him i was going out w the gilrs& would go to the other guys house. we even have a little boy together. a female will cheat just as quick as a male. cheaters will lie and do anything they can to get around to what they want. :/

  • lindsey 2/19/2009

    when i was being cheated on i was always the one being accused of cheating and he constantly went through my phone..email..myspace..facebook...anything he could get his hands on. it was a night mare. he would ask me 10 billion ?s before i had time to answer. he was always mean to me and made me feel stupid. when i would do something nice for him he would complain and tell me i did it wrong. he made me feel so stupid. when we broke up thats when i found out so much more.

  • Blank 7/25/2008

    This is a another sign of cheating. When your own man comes around during the day hours and stay a few hours (when he should be at work) have sex and you and then you do not see him for a few days. In my case a week or two. Men get so caught up in there own bull-scrap with seeing several women then it dawns on them they forgot about you. The article above is so true. I have expereince the cellphone being under the mattress, the texting and receiving texts all hours of the night. Leaving the cellphone in the car or truck. This is the real deal when they start to say different things to you in reference to another woman. And say I was just kidding. The disappearing acts....I dealt with 10 years of cheating only because in my previous relationships; I had never experience guys not being up front and honest about whether it would be just sex, or a real committment. My mom always told me if a man really wants to be with you, nothing will keep him away, and nothing will keep him away for lon

  • QUICHE 4/21/2008

    I can vouch for the accusations part. My ex was constantly accusing me and going through my phone. After our break up all kind of things came out. that is definitely a warning sign!!! Wonderful article.

  • bam 3/28/2008

    interesting article you have but i have to say , That you don't always have those signs, Signs can be different with different people! Sometimes they are real Good at hiding it all ! Trust me I know. They can still be good to you and treat you just the same and you will be thinking all along, This Guy will never Cheat on me and then be shocked when he does! I read a real good book once about cheaters and let me say there is all kinds and they all are diferent in how they go about it! A lady once told me this, A woman who thinks that there spouse or man has never cheated , Is the woman that Just hasn't Caught Him Yet !! I think she may be right!! Do you? If yiu get a chance hope you'll read what i jus wrote, it's my first time, I'm new here and thaks if you do!!

  • Jill 1/18/2008

    Recently my ex got sick and i also got sick. But before long i noticed that a whole month and a half had passed without any type of affection. also he began to dress better at work and stopped calling me at break. he even changed his job hours suddenly. two daus ago he came home from work reeking of perfume. he claimed a cowroker accidently sprayed it on him. now he wants his own apartment

  • Rain 9/27/2007

    Those who have been hurt by a cheating boy/girl friend take time to heal. B/c you will meet the right person one day and unless you take time, you will bring that negative energy into the new relationship not meaning to. Don't let the new person pay for your ex's mistakes.

  • Nikki 9/6/2007

    Sorry you got burned ... hope you find someone you can trust and who will respect you next time around.

  • John 8/31/2007

    My ex and me just broke up. Well it's been a Merry Go Round of sorts. We don't live near each other and I had to buy a car to go and see her and be with her. She never came to see me, it was always me going to see her. She treated me like garbage, called me overweight and everything else but I continued to do for her and treat her good. I would buy her all kinds of stuff and she would take it. This last time I was there I noticed that she didn't put her computer on at all. I asked her if I could use it for a minute to pull up Mapquest and before there was NO problem using it but this time she said "NO" I don't want to put that on, it will have so much Junk Mail on it. The real true reason was that she's got someone on messenger she doesn't want me to see. If she got online that person would immediately say "HEY" to her or whatever. So that's a sure sign too.

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