Don't Live with Regrets

Has someone been on your mind lately? Maybe it's an old friend you lost contact with or a family member you had a falling out with? If so, you aren't alone. Many people I've talked to can think of at least one person they would like to reconnect with, someone they miss. It's human nature to drift apart, even from those we love and care about. However, in the spirit of living without regrets, I started reaching out to people I had not spoken with in years. It's been an almost 100% positive experience, so I thought I would share it with you and possibly encourage you to reach out as well.

The kick in the pants to get me to do this was grief. A former coach and mentor that I cared a lot about passed away unexpectedly. I had not spoken with him in many years but always remembered Coach Festejo with great admiration and thankfulness. I found out he died by coming across his memorial page in my old hometown online newspaper. It was a cold hard slap of reality and it reduced me to heavy sobs. It made me think of all the people from my past that meant so much to me, and how many of them probably didn't know how I felt. I wish Coach Festejo was still around for me to thank him for the basketball skills he taught me and the life skills as well. Others are still here and so I have begun contacting them.

The first person I reached out to was someone who had been a friend for over 15 years. When she was a good friend, she was great, but she had a habit of disappearing, making plans and not showing up or calling, and basically lying for unknown reasons. I had not talked to her in a couple of years after one of those incidents, but finally decided to reach out through email. We started talking again, laughing and making plans for her to visit, which she seemed eager to do. My gut told me there was a good chance she would flake out on me like she had done before, and unfortunately my gut was right. She didn't show up, didn't call, or text or email and offered no excuse, probably because there was none. Now I recognize her as a "former friend" and I have no intentions of making the same mistake with her. I don't regret giving her another chance because now I know for sure I am better off without her in my life.

On a better note, I had been thinking for over a year about someone that was a wonderful friend to me when I was in high school. I missed her dearly. We had gone our separate ways 8 years or so ago for a variety of reasons. However, this was a person who had meant so much to me as a teen, who was a mentor and a role model. She had taken a shy kid under her wing, and helped turn her into a confident young woman. She believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. She was there for me when I felt I couldn't share my pain or happiness with others. She saved my life by being a friend and loving me unconditionally. Though we both changed as the years passed, I never forgot what she meant to me and I didn't want to go another day without making sure she knew how I felt. I sent her a card, expressing my thanks for all she had done and had been for me. I didn't hear back for a few weeks and thought she had no desire to reconnect. Then one day I received a card from her in the mail, telling me how much I meant to her and still do. We have now rekindled our friendship and I won't let it go again.

I have contacted old high school friends on facebook, and will actually be visiting with one of my great friends from McLane H.S. She was an incredible friend to me then and is someone I never stopped caring about, so I'm thrilled we are in each others lives now. I have contacted other friends and found a cousin I have not talked with in years, and it has definitely made me a happier person.

I will continue to send out cards, emails and phone calls to special people I think about, and I will let them know how I feel about them. Life is too short to live it with any regrets, and I'm having less regrets every day. Maybe there is someone that's been on your mind? Don't be afraid, reach out.