"Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - and It's All Small Stuff" - Best Strategies for Self Esteem

In His Words

From Richard Carlson's book, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and it's all small stuff," comes the first chapter and strategy: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. In this chapter, he explains how we allow ourselves to get all worked up about things that really aren't worth the stress we're putting on ourselves.

From road rage to feeling overworked and unfairly treated, he explains how we can learn not to worry and stress about these "little" things - as they really are, in the great scheme of it all, small stuff. It takes a lot of energy to sweat the small stuff and if we can just let things go, we could use that energy to be a kinder and gentler person, to ourselves and others.

Real Life Situation

In my life, I can relate to feeling unfairly treated. I have been ignored and put down by others which, if I would have let it, could have led me into a state of depression. At first, I wondered why I was being ignored and possibly regarded as not good enough to talk to. I wondered if I'm too low on the totem pole or maybe I just didn't fit in. I have also heard whispering behind my back about things such as my hair or clothing. These are just a few examples, but I can tell you that I am starting to learn that what other people say about me does not define me and therefore, it is useless to let these things bother me.

A Strategy: Positive Denial

One strategy I've used in these instances is what I like to call "positive denial," which is deciding not to accept what I've heard by positively, without a doubt, denying it. Instead of believing that I was completely ignored by my boss because I am not worthy of his attention, I will tell myself to make a note to remind him of his hearing aid next time he can't hear me. Or, when overhearing that my hair isn't as cute as a co-worker thinks it should be, that she must be talking about someone else, maybe a family member of hers who has the same name as me.

Remember This

If you, too, begin to feel like you're being treated unfairly, remember that what really matters is how we feel about ourselves, not how other people feel about us. At the end of the day, it's up to you to be happy with yourself and letting those "small" things go. Once you stop letting things (big and small) stress you out or depress you, you'll be more at peace with yourself and you may even notice that much like a magnet, your positive outlook is attracting the positive attention of people around you.

Source:
Richard Carlson, PhD, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and it's all small stuff"