Don't Make These Mistakes If You're Trying to Get Back with Your Ex

Patching up your relationship with your ex is a sensitive thing. Many times the reason you broke up in the first place is because of something one of you did without thinking. Trying to work things out can be difficult. Normally we do things out of instinct, and without thinking do something that will cause them to leave us for good. Let's look at some things that our instincts may be telling us to do, but we definitely should not do. But before we even go into any of that, let me just say, that if you agree to work things out with someone, but cannot forgive them or they cannot forgive you, the best thing to do would be to just move on. Forgiveness is the only true bandage that can begin healing a relationship.

First, do not interrogate them. Even if they were the cause of the breakup, don't do it. One of the number one reasons why people fail in trying to get back together is the fact that one person is not letting the other person breathe. For example, when you haven't talked to them for a day, or even just a few hours, you do not need to know what they were doing, where they've been, or who they were with. This is an obvious sign of distrust, and will reopen the wound that you guys are trying to patch back up, every time you do it. So give them their space and get yours too.

Second, avoid trying to get even. You don't want to do this, especially, if the relationship with your ex was long term. We make the mistake of thinking that being with someone else is going to make us feel better. Even though it may feel good in the beginning, the pain of your previous relationship is still there and in some way will resurface because all your doing is covering it up. If reconciliation with your ex is not in the making, by all means see other people. But if not, figure out ways you can have fun without the significant other. We have to learn how to be happy with ourselves before we can be happy with someone else.

Next never throw yourself a pity party. You can do everything in your power to make your ex feel sorry for you, but realistically the only person shows up to a pity party is you. Speaking from experience, the pity party thing will only push a person away. Sorrow is a negative emotion. No one wants to be around someone who is always depressed or feeling sorry. It's human nature for us to be drawn to people who are exciting and happy not boring and sad. Most importantly, this will turn you into a person that no one is going to want to be around, not just your ex. So practice being happy and fun. Our instincts with tell us to do some weird things when we're hurt and confused. The best thing that mankind has is forgiveness which gives us a second chance to many situations. If you or someone you know is in the midst of a breakup, and the second chance is there, instinct may tell us to do some things we just should not do. Whether your ex hurt you, or you are the one that hurt them, they are not the suspect of an investigation so do not interrogate them. Let them do what they want to do and act like you trust them. Avoid trying to get revenge and let karma do its job. Be happy and not sorry. In a post-relationship state of mind, something that people tend to forget is that we were living individuals before we got into the relationship, and we will still be living individuals after.