Don't Be a Victim of Energy Vampires

Energy vampires may not drink blood, but they can nonetheless be a very negative influence in your life. You can find energy vampires anywhere: at your workplace, school, church, or maybe even sitting at your breakfast table.

Energy vampires are people who drain your energy with their negative attitude, constant complaining and laying blame. Of course, all of us need to lean on a friend once in a while, but we expect it to be a two-way street. True friends are there to lend an ear or a shoulder when you are in need.

Not so with energy vampires. They may constantly call you to whine, rant, or complain, but when you try to tell them about what's happening in your life, they will likely cut you off and start talking about themselves again. They don't really care about you, aside from the fact that you provide them with an audience. The bottom line: it's all about them.

Something important to understand is that energy vampires are not people who happen to be going through a rough time in their life and are actively looking for solutions. Nor are they people who are suffering from depression. Energy vampires are self-centered people who are unwilling to take responsibility for their lives, want to blame others for their problems, and complain incessantly while never doing anything to help themselves.

At first, you may not realize that you are dealing with an energy vampire. You want to be helpful and sympathetic, but that is exactly what energy vampires prey on. You may notice that over time, a pattern emerges. The same conversation seems to happen every time you talk to them. There is a recurring theme about how everything is awful, it's not their fault, everyone is against them, and so on.

After you have spent time with an energy vampire, you will often feel exhausted, emotionally drained or depressed. You may have the feeling that you are being taken advantage of or used.

Here are some common characteristics of energy vampires:

• Have a relentlessly negative attitude
• Complain repeatedly about the same thing, but never do anything to change it
• Refuse to accept responsibility for the events in their life
• Ignore advice or suggestions to improve the situation
• Seem to enjoy being miserable, and want you to be miserable right along with them
• Are not interested in hearing about others
• Always taking, never giving
• Need to be the center of attention

How to Avoid Being the Victim of Energy Vampires

Refuse to listen to their complaining. If they start on a lengthy rant that you have heard countless times before, say that you understand the issue, and ask them what they are planning to do about it.

Limit the amount of time you spend with them. If you see that the conversation is turning into another repeat performance, tell them you have to go.

Don't engage in their pity party. Tell them that you won't discuss this anymore until they come up with a plan and begin to take concrete steps to improve the situation. Then change the subject.

Remember, it is not your responsibility to fix their problems, and this isn't what they want from you, anyway. Don't feel guilty for walking away.

Sources:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/03/11/o.energy.vampires/index.html

http://www.dumblittleman.com/2008/03/protect-yourself-against-energy.html