Don't Watch the Watchmen!

This is supposed to be the ultimate Superhero story??? I mean...I admit, I am not a fan of The Watchmen series anyway so it could be that I'm lacking something in the understanding of the "Watchmen world", but sitting through this movie was painful and even evoked a mini panic attack at the thought that it might never end.

Set in the 80's, the movie starts off with one of the superhero characters getting murdered, this is the mystery that the rest of the movie builds on along with the political drama of the Cold War and obligatory comic book love story where someone gets shafted. Sound good? It's not. It's almost embarrassing how hard they worked for that "R" rating, pure profanity, crappy one-liners, and weird, bouncy, violent scenes that were impossible to follow.

The acting was super lame and unbelievable, the characters were ridiculous and corny, had I had insight even on their superhero names I probably would have saved myself 3 hours of life. The Comedian-total Punisher rip off, Rorshach-4 foot, part Woverine, part Inspector Gadget, Nite Owl-nerd Batman, Silk Spectre-Psylocke?, Dr.Manhanttan-(the only one with actual superpowers), an anatomically correct bizarro Silver Surfer, and Ozmandu, the world's most intelligent man, - part superhero, part villain...all dork.

Redeeming qualities? The soundtrack. The soundtrack features some good ones like, Bob Dylan, Nat King Cole, KC and the Sunshine Band, etc; etc.. I will have to do my best though to not associate those songs with such a dookie movie from now on.

Aside from Superman, I have never been a big, slobbering, DC fan to begin with and after a looonng night with The Watchmen; I remembered why. Maybe it's just that the complexity of the narration is too much for my small brain? Maybe I'm missing something but this movie left me with such a bad taste in my mouth that I felt compelled to warn everyone I know.

Save your money, don't waste your time, wait for the dvd release if you absolutely have to see it and for God sake, do not take your kids, it will make them stupid and burn their eyes.

I know there are worst movies out there; but I just can't seem to think of any at the moment. Thank you; you're welcome and good night!

Marvel for life!