Don't Worry About Sexual Inexperience
A Good Partner Will See Your Sexual Inexperience as a Wonderful Opportunity to Be There for Many Exciting Sexual "firsts" with You
Don't be afraid to express any concerns you may feel about your sexual inexperience with your partner. Many people will take a revelation of sexual inexperience as a wonderful opportunity to be there for many exciting sexual "firsts" with you.
Sex is a skill like any other. Sex is something you get better at with practice. However, sex isn't a generic skill like speaking French or riding a bike which have objective benchmarks to judge the skill against. Sex is a communication of intimacy and a sharing of pleasure between the specific people involved in the sexual activity. In some ways, sex is a bit like cooking. A person can be an excellent chef and create food of the highest quality but if he ignores the preferences of the people he is cooking for the meals he prepares will not be enjoyed.
Most people would prefer a sexually enthusiastic person who is willing to learn what pleases him or her specifically as opposed to someone who thinks he or she knows everything there is to know about sex and approaches sex with their new partner exactly as they have with every previous partner. No matter how many sex tricks and techniques you know none of them matter if you aren't ready to listen to what kind of sex your partner wants and learn to accommodate his or her needs and likes and dislikes. You'll need to adjust your approach to sex with any new partner so if you are feeling like you are sexually inexperienced with a partner you should keep in mind that he or she is equally inexperienced in having sex with you!
The only way to become a skilled lover is to keep having sex and the only way to have great sex with a particular person is to have open communication with that person. I feel that if a person isn't comfortable enough to discuss sex with a partner he or she isn't really ready to be having sex with that person. No two people are sexually pleased in exactly the same way by exactly the same things. The only way to find out what your sex partner enjoys is to communicate and to experiment together.
Read more articles on sex and intimacy by this author:
Talking About Sex with Your Lover
How to Keep Sexual Intimacy Alive in Your Long Distance Relationship
Talk Dirty to Me - a Beginner's Guide to Talking Naughty in the Bedroom
How to Introduce Your Partner to the Use of Sex Toys
Women's Kegel Exercises for Better Sex and Stronger Orgasms
Published by Kylyssa Shay
Kylyssa Shay spent 18 years as a professional floral designer and has aquacultured marine life for fun and profit. Ms. Shay is a freelance writer, an atheist and an avid life-long learner with unusual life e... View profile
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- Don't be afraid to express any concerns you may feel about your sexual inexperience.
- No two people are sexually pleased in exactly the same way by exactly the same things.
- Sex is a skill like any other. Sex is something you get better at with practice.
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Excellent advice, as always, Kylyssa! Thanks for being so willing to push the limits on what's "okay" to write about.
There is something to be said for traditional values. "Saving yourself for marriage" meant that both partners were inexperienced and learned together the pleasures of a sexual relationship. That said, some good advice is offered here. Practice does not always make perfect, but it certainly helps things to improve. Talking with your partner is important on so many levels...
Super read!
I know that most women find it hard to discuss sex with their partners if they are young and inexperienced in my day mothers told their daughters that they would not enjoy sex but needed to have it with their husbands because it was their duty - it is great that the world has moved forward.
Great article! I think it's amazing how many people can't talk about sex openly with their partner!