Do's and Don'ts of Child Discipline

Child discipline is an important and controversial subject. While there is no best way and no one technique will work for every child, there are a few techniques that can help you as a parent cope with the challenging task of raising a responsible child capable of making wise choices.

Do what you feel is best for your family. In order for you to be strong and accurately portray your values, you have to feel that what you are doing is in the best interest of your family.

Do determine your purpose for discipline and keep that purpose in mind when deciding rules and consequences. While a child who follows directions well is convenient, chances are that you're aiming to raise your child to be a responsible decision maker rather than and obedient child.

Do follow through with the punishment or consequence. Be prepared to dish out any punishments you threaten and follow through with the entire punishment. For example, if you threaten a week punishment, don't give in and let your child off the hook after 3 days.

Do set punishments that match the severity of the "crime." Being overly excessive when dishing out the punishment can lead you to second guessing your decision when you cool down ultimately, making it more difficult to stick with your punishment.

Do give consequences that relate to the behavior. This will help your child make the connection between actions and consequences.

Do remain consistent. If it's not acceptable to jump on the bed today, it shouldn't be okay to jump on the bed tomorrow. Avoid sending mixed signals that will frustrate you and your child.

Do be prepared for your child to be upset with your punishment or consequence decision. Just as adults need the opportunity to express themselves, so do children. Unlike adults however, children need guidance on acceptable and unacceptable ways to express their feelings. Give your child this guidance rather than additional punishment when they object.

Don't threaten your child with ridiculous punishments that you can't follow with. Your child knows that you probably won't throw the television in the trash or follow through with a life-time ban on ice cream. These threats make follow through unlikely, therefore discrediting your dedication to discipline.

Don't give in to temper tantrums. Inform your child that it's okay to be upset but throwing a temper tantrum is not the way to get what you want.

Don't ask questions your child can't answer. Chances are your child doesn't know the answer to questions like "What's wrong with you?" or "Why don't you listen?" so there's really no point in asking unless you really want to waste time and energy waiting to hear "I don't know" or "I do listen!"