Dozing in a Parked Car

I love my neighbors; What's-His-Name, Who's-it, and That-Girl-Across-The-Street. We look out for each other. That's why I'm so thankful they were paying attention when I was dozing in my parked car.

I'd been working an early shift that day, and naturally the night before I made sure to get enough rest by going to bed early, by which I mean before breakfast. I have a remarkably effective strategy for deciding when it's time for bed. Most people set a certain bed time. Haha! Imagine that! The best way is to play a computer game, or maybe watch TV, until you start dozing off. Sometimes that can be inconclusive, so to make extra sure it's really bed time, your game or TV show should be stimulating. That way, when you are dozing off, it's definitely time to hit the sack. Or watch the sun rise, whichever. I get confused when I'm dozing.

Anyway, it was a busy day and I was glad to finally get in my car and head home. One benefit of my dozing bed time indicator system is it keeps me alert while driving all the way from where I parked to the parking lot exit. I was so sleepy my eyelids were imitating Las Vegas slot machines. They do that a lot for some reason. I turned the car radio on hoping some good music would keep me awake. Of course that was a big mistake. Music stations don't actually play music anymore, as it would go against their main purpose of advertising used car dealerships. I had no choice but to let Buddy "Your Buddy" Smith, owner of Best Buddy Used Car and Bingo Palace, inform me that he has a car for me and he can be trusted since he's my personal friend. I could have turned the car radio off, but of course my brain had disengaged from reality and wanted to dream exactly then.

Pulling to the first intersection, I coveted every parked car I saw, with their comfortable seats and reclining features. I rubbed my eyes and, when it was my turn to go (too soon for a quick nap, as it turned out) continued on. Getting home was about as easy as walking a tight rope with raccoons biting my ankles. The sequence of events, as far as I can recall, was this; trees going by, almost dozing, tall green things going by, almost dozing, car passing me, almost dozing, car honking at me and, hard as it is to believe, almost dozing some more. Parked cars were moving faster than I was driving, apparently. If it weren't for all the honking and passing, I might have gotten some badly needed sleep before getting home.

Somehow, maybe because Buddy is also a miracle worker, I found myself parked at home. It was a convenient moment to briefly rest my head back while loud rock music (my favorite kind) conveniently chose right then to play on my car radio. A parked car is just as good as a soft bed for quality sleep, so I dropped right out of consciousness without realizing it.

About half an hour later, a loud rapping against my car window jerked me awake. It took a while for my bleary mind to register I was still parked at home. Looking out, I saw a police officer waiting for me to respond. Now I was awake. Seeing a policeman is better than an alarm clock. He should have rapped on my window while I was still parked at work. They're never around when you need them.

A neighbor, not sure which one but it could have been Who's-it, had observed me comatose in a parked car, assumed the worst, and called the police to make sure I was ok. The officer let me go inside once he saw I had simply been asleep. Needless to say, when I tried to sleep in bed, I couldn't have even if someone had tranquilized me.