Dragonball: Evolution Film Review

1 hr. 24 mins.

Starring: Justin Chatwin, Emmy Rossum, Chow Yun Fat, Jamie Chung, Joon Park, James Marsters, Eriko, Ernie Hudson, Randall Duk Kim

Directed by: James Wong

MPAA Rating: PG

Rating: * star (out of 4 stars)

So here we go again...another woefully generic actioner borrowing its inspiration from a popular television series ("Dragonball Z") and/or highly regarded video game of the same name. Still, how could the immensely flashy and kinetic Dragonball: Evolution go so wrong when it has also been translated into best-selling graphic novels? After all, it is derived from the desired Japanese manga created by Akira Toriyama? Well gang, let us count the ways...shall we?

Director James Wong seems to be in his element as Dragonball: Evolution strikes a chord with its whimsical warriors, mystical overtones and gaudy special effects...or at least one would think so, right? In reality, Wong's noxious narrative is nothing more than a hyperactive hackjob that may appease some 10-year old boy grasping his Jackie Chan action figure. However, Dragonball: Evolution never amounts to anything special beyond a cheesy exorcise teetering on its convoluted construction. While remotely imaginative Dragonball erroneously forgets to do the essential things that basically make up the fundamentals of a basic half-decent piece of movie entertainment. You know...the little things such as passable acting, scripting, editing...the aspects one expects when actually viewing a supposedly viable action-packed escapist flick?

The truth remains that Dragonball: Evolution may be typical of Wong's strained and stagnant action pieces. In 2001's dank and dismissive The One he pretty much exemplified his kind of jittery junk cinema that may be a staple of his chronically cliched-ridden frenetic fest. Although not as dim-witted and denouncing, Wong had some fortunate foundation with the glossy and gory Final Destination film franchise from 2000 and 2006. Still, that's not saying much for a filmmaker whose filmography has more noticeable holes in it than a Swiss cheese factory located next to the local doughnut shop.

The cardboard mythology behind Dragonball: Evolution is about as complex as a coloring book. Nevertheless, here's the scoop: dastardly alien warlord Piccolo (James Marsters) has been imprisoned for his dirty deeds for over two thousand years in his ambitious bid to destroy the world. Piccolo has been under some solid spell for quite some time to curb his intentions on bringing destruction to the universe. Conveniently, Piccolo escapes his solitude and meets up with his femme fatale associate Mai (Eriko) so that they can get their evil hands on the seven orbs known as "dragonballs"-a convincing set of tools that can assist them in ruling the whole world.

Enter teenaged Goku (Justin Chatwin, "War of the Worlds", "The Invisible"). Martial arts guru Goku becomes a heroic force when he's compelled to stop the critical agenda of Piccolo. Apparently Piccolo was instrumental in the death of his beloved grandfather (Randall Duk Kim) during his sordid quest to obtain one of the dragonballs. Obviously, this means revenge for the skillful Goku in the name of his late grandfather and for the safety of the vulnerable world.

Thankfully, Goku enlists a handful of super-charged sidekicks to help him combat the terrible tandem of Piccolo and Mia. Among the group of assisting avengers include Master Roshi (Chow Yun Fat, "The Replacements"), Bulma (Emmy Rossum, "The Phantom of the Opera", "Poseidon"), and Yamcha (Yoon Park). Hopefully, Goku and gang can get to the dragonballs before Piccolomanhandles these specialized weapons en route to causing havoc for Mankind.

The action-fantasy drama genre has never looked so uninviting and uninspired like the notoriously clunky Dragonball: Evolution. Shamefully, Wong incorporates the cheapened devices to synthetically tell this "stale tale" of mystique martial artistry in a less than rudimentary showcase of good vs. evil. The acting is annoyingly stilted as a normally charismatic Chatwin is stuck in mocking material that misguided moviemaker Uwe Boll would cringe at with surprising distaste. Rossum, an extremely young, sophisticated and talented actress, is inexplicably trapped in a monotonous movie she really has no business partaking in...PERIOD! In fact, the movie's grip or caterer shouldn't be toiling around in this magical mess either.

Aesthetically, the movie looks amateurishly conventional. The set pieces are as ridiculously crafted and about as palatable as a box of Legos. The shoddy camerawork is indistinguishable and the constant dark atmospheric look leaves much to be desired in terms of connecting to the minimal story and having a sense of urgency within the framework of what is actually taking place. The dialogue is sophomorically contrived in its tacky techno-talkative mode. Overall, this whole meager affair feels held together with the strength of a used roll of Scotch tape.

The detached and diminished aura surrounding Dragonball: Evolution is regrettably bad in that it doesn't bother to at least grasp the intentional designs of pure camp. Excruciatingly unoriginal and numbing, Wong's cobbled-together canker soar of a fantasy can be blasted for its many faulty production values. Lame fight-oriented choreography, lackluster CG imagery looking like it originated from an old 60's Lost In Space episode and the cartoonish platitudes about incorrigible paper-thin villains (read: Marsters's Piccolo) taking on bland boy wonders (read: Chatwin's Goku)-all indicative of the flimsy foolishness that ensues in Wong's disastrous ditty.

The throwaway participation of supporting players such as legendary chop-socky champion Chow Yun Fat prancing around at will feels manufactured in laughable stiffness. The adorable Jamie Chung ("I Pronounce You Chuck and Larry') is equally wasted as Goku's "dreamgirl" Chi Chi. Plus, Marsters's gimmicky prosthetics makeup looks as if was borrowed from a random kid's costume party at Chuck E. Cheese's.

Overly convincing in its silly-minded spectacle, Dragonball: Evolution is an instantly forgettable adventure-fantasy that is only intriguing courtesy of its crappy conceptual concoction.