Drawbacks of Living with Your Girlfriend

On March 19 of this year I had an article published here on AC in which I described the joys of living with my girlfriend. Here it is four months later and I am happy to report that things are going splendidly for the wife and I. The move was unquestionably the right decision for the both of us.

However, nothing is perfect. As with anything in life there are some drawbacks to this as well. While anything that could be classified as a "serious" matter was resolved long ago with relative ease there are those little things that just nip away at me from time to time. Here, after four months of cohabitating with the wife, are some of the drawbacks I've found that come with living with your girlfriend.

First drawback of living with your girlfriend: The temperature is never satisfactory in the apartment.

We were fortunate enough to find an apartment where we get free heat during the winter months. Of course this means that our heat turns on and off whenever it feels like it regardless of what we would set a thermostat to. Not knowing what was in store for us upon entering the apartment in March we decided to bring along a small portable heater.

From the time we would lay down at night until the morning alarm would go off our apartment was either "ridiculously hot" or "so cold I need five blankets" depending on the wife's mood at the time. Things haven't improved in the summer. Our apartment is now "freezing" when the air conditioner is running at night due it being roughly 85 degrees outside. Good thing I'm drenched in sweat, hunny. You bundle up.

Second drawback of living with your girlfriend: Remember when you used to have money in your pocket? Those days are over.

I've made comments to the wife about the fact that I never have money in my wallet for a few months now. Whenever I do she always states that it's my fault and my fault alone that I never have any cash on me. If I wanted to I am free to take money out at anytime. Let me take this time to describe to all my faithful readers an example of how things actually work.

I'll have a measly 20 dollars in my wallet. Emily will come up to me and ask "I have to do laundry/go to the store/put gas in the car on the way to work/insert random errand here and I don't want to stop at the bank or use our debit card. Do you have any cash on you?"

This happens every single time I have more than three bucks in my wallet. It's almost as if something goes off in her brain to alert her that I actually do have cash. Needless to say whenever I need to spend money at the store or for the subway my debit card is my best friend.

Third drawback of living with your girlfriend: She comments on your drinking.

I'm 23 years old, I loathe my office job passionately, and I am a huge fan of the New York Mets. Of course I'm going to drink most nights. Your boys will not only not make negative comments about this but they'll probably join in for a round or six. The wife? Not so much. Apparently she'd rather waste the money on nice curtains than a case of Sam Adams. Silly girl.

Fourth drawback of living with your girlfriend: The bed shrinks to one-third the size of what it actually is when you share it.

I consider myself to be a rather smart guy. I'm fairly educated with a college degree from a good school. If there's one thing that escapes my comprehension, though, it's the fact that a 4'11'' girl can actually take up two-thirds of the bed at night. One way or another I always end up with just enough room to not fall off of the bed. I've started wearing a harness while in bed and placing 3 pillows on the ground next to my side of the bed just in case that day comes when she takes over the entire thing.

Fifth drawback of living with your girlfriend: She reads your articles you write for AC while you're at work and she's at home...able to padlock the door. Hmm...

Just kidding about this article, sweetie. I love you!