Drawing Strength from Pain: There's Nothing Wrong with It

As a survivor of both mental and physical abuse along with a long history of negative things happening to me, I've come to learn that the best thing you can do is draw strength from the bad in your life. If you don't, it will get the best of you sooner or later.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Many people hate that phrase, but it happens to be true. If you're smart enough to learn from your mistakes and the misfortunes of your life, it will indeed make you a stronger and better person. You have to learn not to be bitter about the past and the things you have suffered through, but instead to use those events to make your a better and more aware person. You must also take each negative event from your life and see it as a lesson. If you take the time to look, there is always something to be learned from every bad thing that has ever happened to you.

Learn from your mistakes. As I said, you need to learn from your mistakes. As the old adage goes: Those who do not learn from the past are condemned to repeat it. Life has a funny way of making you go through things again and again until you get the hint. There is always something to be learned from the things that happen to you. You need to examine each negative thing that has been in your life and comes into your life. When you do, it will teach you things about others or about yourself. Once you see these things you will know what to look out for, what to do better, and what things you need to change within yourself to become a better person.

Bringing the energy back. This is something that we all need to do if we want to grow beyond the pains that we have suffered in life. When you focus on the negative events and the negative feelings you have from them, you're wasting precious energy. All the hate, anger, fear, jealousy, disgust and other feelings you have about the events and the people involved in them sap your inner energy. Every time you give your time to those thoughts, you're also giving your energy.

In order to heal and find strength, you need to bring the energy back to yourself instead of sending it out. For example, instead of wasting energy hating someone for cheating on you, thinking about how they hurt you and wishing bad things for them, which expends your energy, bring it back in. Think about how you're now free to find someone who will love you, think about how you're smarter now and will be better able to see a cheater, and how you're better off without them. These are empowering thoughts and feelings that will fill you with new energy and make you a better person for the future.

Use it creatively. You might be amazed at the number of writers and artists who have turned the hardships of their life into works of art. Some people paint, draw, write, sculpt or create music. All of these things are creative ways to excise the negativity and turn it into something powerful and even profitable. For many years I used poetry as a way of dealing with my pain. Whatever I wrote was out of me, and eased my pain. Now I have 8 books worth of the stuff, and I am thankful for every bit of it. Turning your pain into art is a great way to empower yourself and overcome the negativity.

Some people find it odd that anyone would want to even try to draw strength from their past pain, but it's one of the best things that anyone can do for themselves. Ignoring the pain or trying to pretend it never happened will leave a gaping hole inside a person, and will never allow them to be truly whole or happy. When you embrace that trials and troubles of your past, you can grow beyond them.

For a long time I was overwhelmed by the negativity of my life. I suffered psychological abuse and poverty as a child. I suffered ill health and abuse as an adult, and a continuing lack of money. I was miserable. As I have learned to embrace all those things and use them, I've grown amazingly as a person. I look at my past and feel triumphant that I'm still here, and that I have overcome so much, and that I have the strength to keep working on the parts of my past that still affect me. If not for the things I have suffered through, I wouldn't be the strong, wise and determined person that I am today.

As hard as it may be, we should all draw strength from our pains. As we learn from and accept the things that have happened to us, we grow in amazing ways. We become better people, and we spread this strength and knowledge to others.