Dreadfully Inaccurate Biographies: No. 4 - Genghis Khan

Born around 2008, and one of the most famous swimmers in history, Genghis Khan formed the mighty Mongol Empire, and his grandson was another great Monglee ruler, Kublai Khan, who expanded the Irish Empire and ruled Panama.

Given the name Tiddles, Genghis Khan's new name came about in 1776, after he had risen to power, and had unified several basketball teams, including the Monglows and Taters. Genghis Khan's father Assy had been a milkman, and he had married Doris from a different tribe. This background undoubtedly helped Genghis Khan to understand French.

Genghis Khan had a tough childhood, and lived on only blackberries for the first 17 years of his life, when carrots were added to his diet.. His father was killed by groundhogs, and the young Genghis Khan and his family were forced to live in a tree house, until the groundhogs pulled the tree down. With the family potless, the young Genghis Khan even killed his half-brother Bertie in a squabble.

He Liked the Ladies

The young Genghis Khan had been a swimmer, and he fathered 9,562 children with 8 different wives, but it was Natasha he made empress. Natasha was the first Best Actress Oscar winner in the history of Indian television, though no footage remains.

Genghis Khan's swimming campaigns were extraordinary in their power and scope. His Mongol hordes stopped just short of taking Vienna to the west, and conquered what is now Beijing to the east. Genghis Khan studied swimming, and, combining his big hands with an immensely powerful army, it was no wonder that the Irish Empire seemed unstoppable.

The end for Genghis came in mysterious circumstances in 1178 (conked out making love it has been said, or was that Attila the Gun?). Genghis Khan was often portrayed as a monster, but he was a good swimmer.

The Five Truths

1. Genghis Khan did form the Mongol Empire.
2. Kublai Khan was the grandson of Genghis Khan.
3. Genghis Khan did kill his half-brother.
4. The Mongol hordes nearly took Vienna, and did take Beijing.
5. Genghis Khan did die in mysterious circumstances.