Dream Home: A New Low for Awful Horror Movies

I was at my local Blockbuster, browsing through the new release section when I spotted it. The cover looked decent, featuring a boy sitting on a tricycle in front of a towering Gothic mansion. The description on the back seemed interesting enough, promising plenty of supernatural excitement and action around every corner of a haunting plot. So I took a chance on it.

Go here to view the menacing cover, along with the plot summary and an official trailer:
http://www.maverickentertainment.cc/filmdetail.php?ProductID=185

If you haven't figured it out from the brief but revealing trailer, this film has the potential to become a cult classic. It's right up there with Plan 9 From Outer Space and Manos:The Hands of Fate. In fact you probably won't ever laugh at either of those movies again after watching the mess that is Dream Home.

It's a possibility that the film makers invested more money into the DVD cover image than every other aspect of this movie combined. Do not spend a second of the 70-something minute running time looking for any hint of a child, tricycle, or looming mansion. All you will find here is an inept handful of "actors" that based on talent, might actually be random people off the street, as well as a script so stunningly brainless that it risks lowering the I.Q. of the entire audience. Oh and let's not forget the dream home, appropriately described by one reviewer as "a ranch with a crappy paint job."

You can read his hilarious review here
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/movie-reviews/dream-home.php

Dream Home is filled to the brim with great examples of what makes a bad movie. People audibly yelling "cut" somehow made it into this film more than once. Two characters are supposedly at work in a retail store, with no attempts made to hide the room full of museum postcards in the background. A scene taking place in the deep woods is augmented by the background sounds of traffic and what suspiciously sounds like people ordering food from a vending truck.

Now for the basic plot. If you don't like spoilers, please skip past the next paragraph and wait until you see Dream Home for yourself. I suggest you just continue reading however, as there really isn't anything to shock or surprise you in the end.

A young couple move into their dream home in the Louisiana backwoods after driving past and suddenly falling in love with it. Upon viewing the home for the first time, they run into a slow-talking man in the living room that tries to warn them about something, but fails to make any actual points with his long ramblings. They ignore him and buy it anyway. The woman eventually discovers a crucifix necklace in the house, which she takes a liking to and starts to wear. She has bizarre, yet senseless dreams, followed by more run-ins with the slow man and an even slower speaking woman. They turn out to be ghosts that may have killed their daughter, the original owner of the necklace.

And that's all. It ends at 72 minutes without any attempts of the couple to resolve the situation or even give any further explanations or insight. It leaves one struggling to find a single example of what might have been a paranormal occurrence in the entire film. The following black screen and painfully lengthy credits manage to stretch the movie out to acceptable running time.

This movie would make a great example for aspiring filmmakers in what not to do, but instructors be warned: in some states, you might actually face legal action for inflicting this sort of cruelty upon your students. Not that there isn't any value to be found in this nightmare; I suggest subjecting yourself to Dream Home the next time you need a good laugh.