Drug Addictions: What is it like for a Loved One to Have a Drug Addiction?

Most people who suffer from drug addictions don't want to be abusers. They just want to feel good or they want to feel normal. All addictions are not the same, and all drug abusers are not the same. Some people do drugs for entertainment purposes, and others take drugs because they have to.

Quite often, when you struggle with an addiction (of any kind) you want to quit, but just don't know how. An addiction to drugs can leave you feeling helpless and ashamed. The shame involved with hiding a drug abuse problem can be overwhelming. You want to keep your addiction a secret, because if your boss finds out, would probably be fired. You hope your family and friends don't find out about your addiction, but chances are they are already suspecting something is off with you.

Drug addiction is a disease

An addiction to drugs is a complex disease. The brain of a drug abuser changes over time. A person, abusing drugs, may behave in a bizarre manner. His/her drug addiction has altered the brain chemistry in such a way that he/she only feels normal when taking drugs. Drug abuse can cause the brain to produce hallucinations. The hallucinations can be visual, auditory, or tactile. Oftentimes, people suffering from drug abuse will feel like bugs are crawling around under their skin.

Misconceptions about drug addictions

There is a lot of misinformation about drug abuse and drug addictions. Sometimes, a well meaning family member or friend will tell the addict to just snap out of the addiction. Many well meaning people will suggest that conquering a drug addiction is as simple as "mind over matter." The consensus is that we can do anything if we put our mind to it. The sad fact is, just wanting to stop abusing drugs isn't always enough to stop. Why? Because abusing drugs has become a compulsive disorder in the brain.

Another misconception about drug addictions is that the addict has no power over his life. It may feel that way, but the person can make the decision to go into treatment. Some individuals are able to stop taking drugs on their own, but most people need some sort of help. The drug addict that goes into recovery needs to be committed to changing his/her brain chemistry of addiction back to normal. Treatment often includes counseling, medication, meditation, and exercise. People who are addicted to drugs can and do recover.

A common belief is that you can't make someone do what they don't want to do. This isn't really true. Lots of family members and friends will confront the drug addict with an intervention. The people who love the person suffering from drug abuse will gather together to confront this person. The loved ones will give the person an ultimatum. The drug abuser will need to go into treatment or he/she will lose all of his/her family and friend connections. The person suffering from drug abuse may not want to go into treatment, but will do it to keep his/her relationships intact. Once in treatment the person usually benefits from the help that was pushed onto him/her.

Relationships suffer with drug abuse

It's just as bad for the family and friends of drug abusers. The person on drugs isn't always thinking clearly. He/she may say things and do things to hurt the loved ones. The family feels helpless. A drug addiction can ruin a family in more ways than one. The family connections often suffer, but also there may be a financial burden on the family. When a family tries to help the abuser, they sometimes enable him/her instead. Drug abusers sometimes lie and steal to get their hands on drugs. They may ask to borrow money, and if you don't give it to them, they will steal it from you or someone else. It's often difficult to recognize when we are enabling a drug addict to keep abusing. When we lend money for them to "buy a carton of cigarettes" they may be buying drugs with it instead.

Conclusion

When we repeatedly pay bail when a drug addict is arrested for some reason, we are enabling them to keep doing what they are doing. Sometimes we have to step back and let the chips fall where they may. Oftentimes, when a drug abuser has nowhere else to turn, he/she will get serious about getting help. When we stop enabling them, we can then support them in their effort to get well again.

Author's note: I have had friends in my life who struggled with drug addictions. I've seen it from both sides. I've seen how the drug abuser and the family members suffer in their own private hells. A couple of my friends have lost everything in their lives that they once held dear to them. One friend went into treatment a few times, but always fell back into her addiction. This person is clean now, but she had to sever relationships with the people who stayed in the addictive life. She surrounded herself with the kind of people that she wanted to be herself.

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Seeing friends deal with drug abuse in their families