D.S. On the Down-Low - 11/15/2007

The first thing I want to say in this weeks' D.S. On the Down-Low is that I don't hate Rudy Giuliani. I know that in last weeks' article I wrote about the Rudester getting a nice little bump from America's resident religious nut, Pat Robertson, and in this weeks' article I'm going to throw more poison bones at Ruff-Ruff Rudy, but, really, I don't hate the guy.

Now, that might be somewhat different from the fireman I met two weeks ago over at The Portal in Sherman Oaks. My apologies, but I don't remember the fireman's name - - three pitchers of Hefenweizen will do that to you.

The fireman explained to my why he's voting for Hillary "Don't Call Me Dude" Clinton and I've got to admit, even though he was blitzed like Dresden, his explanation was pretty compelling.

But, that's not what this rant is about. This rant is all about our boy, Ruff-Ruff Rudy with the mole eyes.

It appears that even though Ruff-Ruff got God SuperFan Pat Robertson to endorse him, he can't seem to shake the wart that is Bernard Kerik. Ole Bernard just got indicted this week for corruption-related charges. According to an article in the New York Times, Kerik formerly served as Ruff-Ruff's "driver, police commissioner, partner, and, briefly, choice to head the Department of Homeland Security".

Boy, that means that Ruff-Ruff is really showing the same sort of leadership that he did on 9/11, right? I mean, this guy knows security!

Which brings me back to my conversation with the fireman. He, and everybody he knows who survived the 9/11 terrorist attack, isn't backing the Rudester. Why? Because unlike us know-nothings who live on the other side of the country, or weren't intimately involved in some way with someone who went through the attack, we don't know exactly what went down that day.

Heck, my fireman friend doesn't even know, but he does know that it was chaos and that, in his own words, we "weren't prepared to deal with it". It makes sense since 9/11 was his day off and he had to take a cab to the scene.

A cab! Dude, why didn't the Rudester's former driver, Kerik, escort my fireman friend?

I mean, how close do you have to be to a person to go from being a driver to a partner (whatever that means) and then to the mayor's choice for head of Department of Homeland Security?

Are you telling me, Ruff-Ruff, that you had no idea about Kerik's supposed ethical dilemmas? Give me a break, man!

Of course, you knew!

If you didn't know, then your judgment is even worse than I thought. By not knowing, you're telling the rest of us Americans that you basically didn't do your due diligence by looking into Kerik's background before throwing him towards Georgie-Boy for one of the top-cop positions in the country.

That's a shame, Rudy, a damn shame...and pretty stupid.

My hope is that this will finally show Rudy for what he is - - a fraud. The guy may know more about security than I do, but that's not a stretch. I have to take pills so that I don't forget that I've locked my door before I go to work!

But, dudes, I'm not running for president.

People, we are looking to hire somebody to for the most powerful position in the world - - President of the United States of America! We need to question every single decision that person has ever made.

The Rudester is a guy who wanted Bernard Kerik for the position of Homeland Security Chief. That's crazy!

For the Rudester to say that he "didn't know about Kerik's past" is even crazier.

That makes Rudy Giuliani either a liar or an idiot. Either way, he doesn't qualify to be President of the United States of America.

Until next week, good luck to you all!