Duct Tape as a Parenting Tool: Four Parental Uses for Duct Tape
When Kids Get Unruly, Get Out the Duct Tape!
Duct Tape as a Parenting Tool: Mouth Gags
When your child is constantly making noise, or your children are bickering over whose Pee&Poo doll is theirs, get out the duct tape! This is especially helpful when you are trying to maintain some peace and quiet while writing articles for Associated Content, for instance.
I recommend cutting the piece of duct tape first. Once armed, you can usually catch them unaware to slap that piece of duct tape over the mouth. This is a temporary fix, as duct tape is removable. Unless you go to more extreme measures...
Duct Tape as a Parenting Tool: Wrist Bondage
Okay, you have already duct taped their mouths and have achieved momentary silence. However, it won't take long for them to realize they can take the duct tape off themselves. Can more duct tape assist in this situation? Absolutely!
This next move may take a bit of finesse, but after a few tries you will master the skill of duct taping your child's hands behind his back. Don't get the tape too tight, as you want them to be able to use their hands in the future.
Duct Tape as a Parenting Tool: Tape 'em Together
Do you have two or more children who just cannot get along? Teach them important survival skills by duct taping them together!
The technique I use is one-arm bondage. Simply cut two strips of duct tape, line your children up side-by-side, and wrap the length around their upper arms. Voila! They will either learn to get along, or they will knock each other out, which would guarantee you more peace and quiet time!
Duct Tape as a Parenting Tool: Live Wall Art
What do you do when you have to leave your home, but you can't take your children with you? Duct tape them to the wall, of course! This is the perfect solution when they are being much too hyper. Instead of allowing them to bounce off the walls, stick them to the walls!
This may take two people to accomplish, but if you have your child stand on a kitchen chair or stool, you may be able to do it yourself. Make sure you use enough duct tape so they aren't able to wriggle free... erhm, fall down and hurt themselves. Also, refer back to the first suggestion and make sure there is a piece of duct tape over the mouth.
Duct Tape as a Parenting Tool: Maintain Your Sanity
If you haven't already figured it out, this article is completely tongue-in-cheek. My favorite use of duct tape as a parenting tool is joking about using it in the above-described ways. My kids laugh and I laugh and it distracts them from the current who-did-what-to-whom. But just in case, I do have a roll of duct tape sitting on my desk...
Published by Heather K. Adams
Heather K. Adams is an award-winning journalist with the North Dakota Newspaper Association. While she can write on many topics, she specializes in personalized national and state news reports, music, and pa... View profile
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29 Comments
Post a CommentVery amusing.
Somethings should not be joked about or used as "tongue-in cheek" humor! Parents have been prosecuted for such acts as described in your article. To find humor in this is a statement of poor judgment in all parenting aspects. Would you laugh if you found out someone was doing such things to your child? Adults teaching children to find humor in actions that are deemed inappropriate is evident in our schools today. Children are being raised in homes that are not teaching the true values that are needed. Shame on anyone that found such an abusive tactic humorous. I fear for your children.
Love it!
Duct tape is not child abuse. You don't use it on an infant. *eyeroll* Use 'they were duct taping that child!' in a court of law and see how far you get.
Joking around about child abuse is not funny. :(
"Live Wall Art!" Priceless!
Honestly, I'm a big fan of Duct Tape for all sorts of things. However, if the child is smart enough (like me, for instance) they will quickly learn that saliva dissolves adhesive, and they can yell and scream again once one side falls off. As for the negative comments, have they ever seen that one guy on YouTube who throws his kids around and makes them laugh? (for the life of me, I can't remember his name) Honestly, AC needs a bit more humor. Wanna collaborate? lol.
This is intended to be humor; however, people are really doing these things. Using duct tape on children is child abuse - when do we start laughing about other forms of child abuse?
It was under humor, Carol. Hmmm.
Cute, but this should be cataloged in humor and not parenting. You may want to alert admin.