Duggar Family Expecting Child 18: Is There Enough Love to Go Around?

By now it's nothing new to hear that the Duggars are having their 18th child. They made the announcement on the Today Show for Mother's Day. The children gave their mom some pearls and then their dad presented her with a ring from a used jewelry shop that she had picked out. The kids thought they were surprising their mom but then Michelle, their mom, while holding their 9 month old, announced that she was expecting...again...surprising the entire family!

I, like many of you, saw the clip of the show and thought, "Holy cow!!!! Why would you put your body through that!" And, admittedly, at first...ok and even now some, I found myself very judgmental of their situation. My first reaction was, of course, that this is just bizarre! I was all bothered with the length of their hair, their seemingly fake perfect attitudes and that they would have so many children period. I initially felt they were being phony and that if we were a fly on their wall we would see some majorly stressed out children and a mom who was at her wits end. However, I find that there is a part of their world that I find respectable and commendable. They say they are debt-free, prayerful, that they love one another and have a family motto that is all about treating each other with love and respect. Those are not easily attainable goals to reach in today's day and age, especially with so many mouths to feed! Whether all of those statements are true or not, who knows, but I think they probably truly are happy. Surely there is stress and tension. They are, after all, human but I do believe they do their best to stay positive and treat one another with love and respect on a daily basis. For that effort, I applaud them because we all know it'd be easier to choose impatience, bickering and anger.

Since the show I have heard & read the buzz about the Duggar family and most people I've talked to think the Duggars are absolutely wrong for having so many children. While I wouldn't choose to have eighteen children of my own, I can't bring myself to say they are "wrong" for having so many and home-schooling them all. I really don't have any issues with people having a ton of children. Would I do it? No. Would I choose to home-school? No. Do I think people who do have several children or home-school are bad people? Absolutely not. I think everyone has to make a decision for their family and what they feel is best. If we all had the same opinion and beliefs this would be a boring world. I don't agree with those who think you can never love this many children or that there isn't enough love to go around. I have no doubt in my mind that the Duggar family truly and deeply love all of their children. Anyone who has more than one child knows that your love simply doubles, it does not split in half.

My one concern is their little buddy system (where the older children help with the younger children) that they talked about on the Today Show. I am sure that a mom of 18 has to have some help, for real, I get that! But, I believe this is where a nanny or Au pair would be a better choice than having her older children take responsibility for the younger children. It's not their job to be parents...nor is it fair to the younger children to look at their siblings as if they (the older siblings) have the same authority as a mom or dad. I just don't think that is a healthy relationship all around. I really think all of her children should just be allowed to be kids. I know a lot of 'oldest' children who have grown up to be bitter because their mom had them raise the rest of the family. No one is perfect and I'm sure I'll be found guilty of having my oldest help change a diaper here and there or run to get the wipes but I truly am going to make a conscious effort to avoid having her feel as if any of our children are her responsibility.

While I understand that they chose to make their life very public, I don't think anyone deserves to have the wrath of the Internet upon them with all of the judgments of others whose lives aren't so public. The true test of whether or not this will work and whether or not all of their children feel loved and secure will be the fruits of their labor. When all eighteen are grown and raising families of their own the results will be in. Until then, you can have some fun with it and cast your vote to Name That Duggar at Discovery Health.

My advice for anyone, just stand firm in the choices you've made, enjoy your family and, if you're like me, be thankful that this isn't your story that's all over the Internet and your body that eighteen children have come from!

Sources:

www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24537885/
health.discovery.com/convergence/duggars/duggarfamily.html
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Au_pair
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Bob_Duggar