DWTS Releases the Names of the Contestents for the New Season

Dancing with the Stars has revealed who will be on their show when it debuts for the next season in September.

Since I've never actually watched the show, with the exception of a couple of peeks to watch how badly Kate Gosselin was doing, I doubt very seriously I will watch it this season. But, I must admit the line-up is very intriguing. It's quite an eclectic bunch, to be sure.

Let's see, first, there's David Hasselhoff. Let's hope "The Hoff" can stay sober and out of emergency rooms long enough to finish the show. But, I'm sure they'll have his daughter on hand, just in case. God bless that poor child.

Then, there's that really charming and intelligent young fellow from the hit reality show, Jersey Shore, "the situation" I just hope they give this guy plenty of belly shirts to wear. I don't know if he can go for any length of time without raising his shirt for everyone to see his abs. Just sayin'.

According to Chris Rock, DWTS always has an athlete and it appears his assessment is correct. Former St. Louis Rams, and might I also say, still quite yummy, Kurt Warner will also be on the show. Holy cow. I think I just found a reason to watch. Too bad I can't be there. Maybe he'll make a pass on some lucky girl. No, wait. He's married.

Blue-eyed soul crooner, Michael Bolton will also be on. To which I must confess, I'm deeply disappointed. Chris Rock also says it depends on "who needs the money" in the entertainment world, as to who DWTS picks.

Since Michael Bolton hasn't put out any records that I know off since the 1990s, maybe the dude is hurting for cash, which is really too bad, because he's seriously talented. On second thought, maybe he'll win. Go Michael.

The resident elderly person slot will go to Florence Henderson. The former Mrs. Brady. Every time I see her face I start singing..."here's a story, of a man named, Brady....." I just can't help it.

I hope for her sake that Marcia, Marcia, Marcia and Jan don't show up. They've been feuding lately and we don't want a brawl to break out while Mrs. Brady is dancing. But, anyway. Mrs. Brady always seemed like a nice lady. I hope she does well.

Dirty Dancing star, Jennifer Grey is also set to perform. Since we haven't seen much of Jennifer since, I don't know, like 30 years ago, maybe she's the one who is really cash-strapped. I don't have much to say though, except she seems to be an odd choice.

Another reality star, Audrina Patridge, will also be on the show, along with former NBA basketball star, Rick Fox. Rick, you may remember was married to Vanessa Williams, the first black Miss America who lost her crown for posing semi-nude in photographs.

I bet she wishes she could compete these days. Heck, Miss America is all about stripper poles now. Rick Fox is a pretty tall, handsome drink of water. There's not much else to say about him except he should be quick on his feet, I guess.

Singer, Brandy, will be on, along with an actor I've never heard of, Kyle Massey, as will overweight and not very funny, comedienne, Margaret Cho. That should be interesting.

But, by far, the most intriguing of the contestants will be Bristol Palin, daughter of former Alaskan governor, Sarah Palin. I'm just not getting this at all. Didn't she just slam Levi Johnston (after the broke up, of course) for being a fame whore recently? What's up with that?

I mean, yeah, Levi is definitely a fame whore, but after you're all up "in his grill" about loving the camera, what are you doing this for? I had heard she was getting upwards of $30K a speech on a speaking tour, so I didn't think Bristol was hurting for cash.

Maybe it's not about cash, at all. I just wonder what mama grizzly thinks about all this face time on television. Curious choice, I must admit.

So, that's it. I might pop in on occasion to check out Kurt Warner and Michael Bolton. Something tells me Michael won't be making it too long. He's a blue-eyed soul singer, but he never struck me as the type of soul singer who could dance. But, you never know.

Sources:

NFL.com
New York Times.com
LA Times.com
People.com