Early Signs of Pregnancy

I felt exhausted, and the last thing I wanted to do involved moving furniture from one room into another. But Woods needed to move his stuff into my office that would soon become his bedroom, so I mustered up all of my energy and began shlepping - first the bookcase, then the computer, the chair, the desk. I stopped, out of breath, before I could actually claim an empty room and collapsed onto the stairs just outside the door. I felt like I had the flu - nauseous, fatigued, the smallest bit of effort left me feeling weak and over-heated. I lay there on the stairs, frustrated with my sickness, until I managed to crawl to the third floor where I promptly fell asleep.

I woke late the next morning, still feeling tired and sick. I decided to stay in bed and get some rest before going out with my girlfriends that evening. I tossed and turned, in and out of sleep. I tried reading for some time but couldn't manage to concentrate on the words without drifting off into some unfortunate place between dreams and reality where all I recognized was a desire to vomit. Dan, the man I adored and who said adored me, came in a few times to see if I wanted to accompany him on an adventure, an adventure I would normally have jumped on were I feeling up to par. Instead I lay there, looking up at him with what I'm sure were desperate and defeated eyes. Sweet man that he was, he crawled in next to me and did some reading of his own so I wouldn't feel quite so alone in my misery.

Eventually it was time for me to go meet my friends for dinner. I slumped out of bed, put on my best face, and made my way over to pick Kelly up. Although I still felt very nauseous, I was starving and ate up everything that landed on my plate. I left fairly early and completely sober - both unusual acts for me - but I felt miserable enough that all I wanted to do was heal my body better. Lack of sleep and alcohol were not on the top of my list that night.

All day at work on Monday, I wanted to sit down wherever I happened to be and cry. I couldn't believe how ill I actually felt. I hadn't been sick like this in years. I wrote the date on a shipping form, and that's when it hit me.

I was over a week late.

I drove home in a stupor through a rush hour that for once failed to make me yell with anger and impatience. I walked in to Dan's room and told him my suspicions.

-No, let's not freak out just yet.
-Yes, let's give it a few more days.
-I'm sure everything is fine - we are simply overreacting.

We decided not to worry until we knew what was truly causing my sickness. Yet I couldn't shake the feeling that my sickness was actually more than a sickness. While at the store, I snuck a pregnancy test into our groceries.

-Okay, okay. So we're probably overreacting, but I decided I'm going to take a test just to ease my mind. It will make both of us feel better when we definitely know.

He looked at me and slowly nodded his agreement. Disappearing into the bathroom, I could hardly breathe. I already knew what the test would read, but at the same time I was in complete denial. Wait three minutes. Then look. One line for negative. Two for positive.

I didn't believe it. I tried to talk myself out of it. Sure there were two lines, but one of them was so faint it couldn't possibly be the decision-maker on such a significant event in my life. The second line was barely there - it couldn't count. I tried to tell myself that. I tried to tell Dan that. We didn't believe me.

-Honey, I think we're pregnant.