Ease Your Toddler Into the Arrival of a New Sibling

Preparation for your second child can be an exciting time. You know what to expect the second time around. You will probably be a little more relaxed and enjoy the experience more. You look forward to watching them learn, play and grow up together. The toddler in your life may seem to be very excited and talk about his or her new brother or sister quite a bit.

However, there could be a time after the baby has made his/her arrival that your toddler becomes less excited. The newness wears off and reality hits home. She will quickly realize mommy's time is now divided between her new sibling and her. She will not be getting all the undivided attention. A whole new perspective will enter the picture and you will see she is having a hard with the new adjustment.

There are a lot of things to take into consideration when the 2nd baby is on the way. The cold hard truth is you will spend less quality time with your older child. As your youngest child gets out of the newborn stage into the more mobile stage it can get tougher. Eventually your youngest child develops his/her own wants and needs that are bound to conflict with your older child. These factors take place over a period of time and will vary based on the age difference between the children. It will be a challenge at times but there are measures that can be made to help the transition go a little easier for your child.

Some things to begin before the baby's arrival:

•Talk to your child about the baby. Explain how you are going to need her help when the baby comes.

•When you are purchasing items for the new baby allow your older child to help with the purchasing decisions. This will show her that she is playing a part in getting ready for the baby.

•If your child is old enough allow them to help you in washing the baby's clothes and decorating the room.

•Emphasize that they will be the big brother or sister and the baby will really need their help too.

•Take them to a few of the doctor appointments with you. If possible allow them to be at the ultrasound with you. Seeing the baby before the arrival may add to the anticipation and excitement.

•Don't allow change for your older child to be associated with the arrival of the baby.

•There are several books and child movies you can watch with your toddler to let them see stories of other children going though the new transition of a new baby coming home. Dora Big Sister is just one we utilized.

•Have a gift for your toddler for when the baby is born. This will be a "special" gift to her from the baby.

My Daughter and son are 21 months apart. I knew I wanted to move my daughter to a toddler bed so my son could use the crib. I started the transition process from crib to toddler bed only a few months into my pregnancy. Once she was completely into the toddler bed we took down the crib altogether. When my son was 1 month old and ready to move from the bassinet to the crib we brought it back out and she was excited to see him use it. In doing this she didn't feel she was "kicked out" of the crib for the new baby.
*this tip was obtained from pregnancytoday.com

Your toddler will go through a variety of emotions. It is normal for him/her to be jealous one minute and loving the next. Toddlers experience emotions they do not even understand. They don't realize they are jealous. When your toddler becomes moody try to give her more attention at first. Acknowledge the emotions she is going through and help her talk through them and learn how to cope with them.

I found in the birth of my son that the jealousy increased as his age and independency increased. My husband and I made it a point for one of us to take turns taking our daughter out for one on one time with her. It was important to her and to us to spend quality time alone with her without her brother. I believe that was a big help to her and she still looks very forward to getting away with just mommy or daddy. It reinforces that she is just a special now as she was before he brother was born and that leads to less jealousy.

It is possible that no matter what you do or what approaches you take you will always have to fend of some type of jealousy. I believe the age difference and the child's personalities will pay a big part in how much or little jealousy you experience. It can get frustrating when they begin the "it's mine" phase and the hitting or yelling starts. Patience and persistence will eventually prevail. There will be a time when you will see them worry about each other and protect each other and at that point you will be so proud of them both. Having one child is an absolute blessing and having two is double the blessing, double the fun and double the love and laughs.