Easing the Stress of Ulcerative Colitis for Families

If someone in your family has Ulcerative Colitis, prevention of flare-ups should be high on your list of family goals. The biggest contributors to tensions related to Ulcerative Colitis are managing diet, medical care, income expectations, rest and poor communication. To manage these well, honest communication is a requirement. No one wants to discuss bowel movements or hear someone gag. Yet, hiding difficulties ensures that they will continue and grow into worse problems.

Income Expectations

Many type A personality individuals push themselves beyond healthy limits in pursuit of their goals. Husbands and wives need to discuss how much income is necessary to their long term survival i.e. after the bills are paid, how much extra income is required to make life comfortable, and how the duties of wage earner and life style support are covered.

By the time my husband and I realized that the tax, hired help, and commuting consequences of us both working brought my wages down to 1/3 of my base salary, it seemed a logical step for me to stay home and follow my dream of writing. It eased my husband's last years of work before retirement because I was there to clean the house, cook the meals and buy the groceries etc. It eased my stress and my colon difficulties improved enormously. Our quality of life greatly improved.

Couples need to discuss the quality of their life as well as their income.

Medical Care

An insurance policy is very helpful because ulcerative colitis can be expensive. A colonoscopy runs $2000. A stay in the hospital to prevent colon rupture for three days is more. A course of antibiotics can run over $100 with insurance, much more without. Life decisions need to include how to pay for medical insurance.

Sometimes doctors will treat you like you're a hypochondriac. It's helpful for a spouse to go to doctor's appointments. Two people giving the same message has more impact. A spouse can also provide information that the patient is too nervous or embarrassed to mention.

Diet and Exercise

My husband is my walking and exercise partner. If we don't push each other to get the exercise we need, colitis problems can flare up. Lack of motion is a big contributor to a lazy colon and resulting constipation. Constipation usually causes eventual diarrhea. Over the counter drugs such as anti-acids that treat diarrhea can cause constipation-it becomes a vicious cycle.

My husband likes all the things I can't eat including onions, cheese, tomato. We prepare small dishes of the things he likes to add to his salads, entrees and sandwiches. We both love vegetables so we have them at every meal.

Rest

Rest comes in two forms for us. One is nighttime sleep-we try to get eight hours of sleep a night no matter what. I often need more. If we're short on sleep at night, we take mid day naps. Still, with excessive attention to other goals, I find it easy to get to working on what I accomplish to the exclusion of sleep and rest. That's usually when my husband decides we need to go birding. An activity like birding that requires total concentration, exercise and fresh air, can provide mental rest that you don't get while focusing on your goals. Breaks in day-to-day activity with other activities can refresh your brain and eliminate stress.

Communication

Bowel problems can interfere with your sex life. It can also make one grumpy, irritable, angry and scared. Couples need good communication to share emotions without allowing their spouse to feel unloved. I often have to discuss my needs-explain that a full colon does not allow for comfortable sex even if I want to make love to my husband. As long as he knows my "rejection" isn't because of him and is only temporary, our love life remains healthy.

No matter what stress is at play in your life, discussing your difficulties honestly and openly leads to a good marriage and a long and happy life.