Easy Bedtime - a Consistent Routine Makes Me Happy!

Many parents experience great strife while trying to get the kids in bed. Bedtime is the final and often worst battle of the day for parents and children alike. In fact, the word "bedtime" can bring both children and parents to tears. As outlined in Part I of "Easy Bedtime", it is necessary to put children to bed at a consistent time that is much earlier than most parents think. According to WebMD, children often need much more sleep than the parents realize.

The first steps to getting a consistent no-fuss nightly pattern set , addressed in Part I included:

• Believe bedtime should be early
• Set a consistent "Time" for bedtime

Establishment and maintenance of a rock solid bedtime by the clock was very important. The next step is to establish and maintain a schedule and short "ritual" to ease the transition from daytime activities to sleep with a minimum of fuss. These steps should include:

• Establish a pre-bedtime schedule
• Perform a simple ritual each night
• Maintain consistency

Getting "ready" for bed

An hour or so before "bedtime", you should begin preparation for the actual moment that the children go to bed. All homework and other activities should be done earlier in the afternoon. Bedtime preparation should begin before the child is tired and should be predictable. This will include things such as: taking a bath, dressing for bed, bedtime snack, brushing of teeth, and making sure their pillows and sheets are all present and ready for bed.

Most importantly some "settling down" time should be required starting about 30 minutes before sleeptime. You may want to include book-looking or reading, coloring or listening to quiet music. If television is allowed during this period, the program selected should not be scary or too physically exciting as young children may be prone to act out what they are seeing on television. I do allow my children to watch a DVD, but I make sure that I select the program. Right before they get into bed, everyone is required to "go potty" whether they claim they need it or not.

Put them in bed with a "song and a prayer"

The bedtime routine should be short and simple and repeatable by others such as grandparents or babysitters. Ideally the entire ritual should not take more than 10 to 15 minutes.

As soon as your child is born, you should start a routine which can be expanded as the child grows. For infants, this should be something simple such as a song repeated every night before putting him to bed. As the child grows, additional steps can be added such as adding a short prayer or story. A bedtime routine that is well established during the toddler years will enable you to continue good sleeping habits as the child grows with a minimum of conflict.

Reading is obviously highly recommended but this can cause a miniature war in the battle over what storybook to read and how many. I have personally avoided this issue by choosing instead to read a few pages of a chapter book each night. This way, it has been established that the reading will only take a few minutes.

Whenever possible, each parent should take turns conducting the routine so that the children know that a substitute routine is acceptable. If you are a single parent, when possible a grandparent or other trusted adult should substitute. The same general guidelines should be used but this will allow the children to know that others do things differently and it is "OK". This will be essential in allowing other adults to care for the children at night.

An example in my home is that I put the kids to be about 5 nights a week by reading a few pages from a chapter book such as "Charlotte's Web", saying a prayer, and singing a song. I ensure that at least 2 days per week, my husband is in charge. He reads, prays and sings with them but does it a little differently. Because he has difficulty reading the chapter book in "nightlight", he generally reads a short children's book, says the prayer in a different manner and sings a different song. They still get reading, prayer and song but know that if Grammy and Grandaddy or "Aunt Chickie" puts them to bed it will be "ok".

Consistency is the key to success

Once you have developed your routine, schedule or ritual in your household, it should be followed as closely as possible all of the time. Children thrive on consistency and they have a need to be able to predict the order of the world. Children are much happier if they are following a routine that is consistent and unfailing. Failure to do so will result in failure at bedtime.

While it may be a challenge to start enforcing a routine, if you can just get the kids in bed you may finally have some time for yourself. The sound sleep that follows is a gift to both you and your child.

Source:

WebMD, How much sleep do children need?