Eating Out with Kids: Teachable Moments

Eating out with kids can provide parents with some wonderful teachable moments. Some parents shy away from appearing with their kids in any but a fast food restaurant where the behaviors of many children overshadow the behaviors of any one child. But what these parents may be overlooking is that taking kids out to eat at a family, and eventually a fancy, restaurant is really a chance to teach your children some important skills they will need as they quickly grow older.

For example when you take kids out to a family style or fancy restaurant you have the chance to expose them to eating in a true dining atmosphere. Sitting at a table, amongst many other tables or booths, you can use the opportunity to help your kids that going out to eat is not really "all about them". Every person at the restaurant is paying for the chance to enjoy a pleasant dining experience. This means that your children and your family as a unit has a certain basic responsibility to behave reasonably and to respect the presence of others around you. This is a lesson that many teens and even some young adults may never have learned because they never went out to eat with their families. As a result they dine out with apparently little regard for the dining rights of others. Don't want your kids to act with that kind of disregard when they become teens? Now's the time to use eating out and its teachable moments to help frame appropriate dining room behaviors for your kids.

An immediate teachable moment occurs when you and your children are handed menus. Your patience and willingness to put your own choices aside for a moment or two will allow you to show your child, once he or she can read, to use a menu to good advantage. For younger kids looking at the pictures can help, along with listening to your careful explanation of the selections to be made. This is the perfect time to teach children about ordering something from the menu that they know they are likely to enjoy and also perhaps the time to experiment with new foods by sharing off a parents order, rather than wasting a dish of food and ending up with a disappointing choice. Common sense in menu use is a skill your kids will use for a lifetime of wise dining experiences. It is also appropriate as your children get older to indicate the price range of items that you are willing to purchase if you have a dining budget. This leads kids to understand how to limit choices and still select a great meal. Point out the Children's menu if there is one, but be ready for growing children to want to get something from the adult menu. Talk to your wait staff to see how such desires can be accommodated.

Speaking of wait staff, eating out with kids provides a predictable opportunity to offer lessons and perhaps more importantly an example for the proper treatment of those who serve you in a restaurant. Your kids should learn by what they see and hear that those who deliver water promptly, those who take your order and serve your meal and yes, even those who clean up your mess are human beings who deserve to be treated courteously and with appreciation for their role in making your restaurant visit pleasant. While it is important for your kids to note that you leave an appropriate tip when the meal is done, it is equally useful in their training to hear ""please and "thank you" and friendly comments from parents as they address those who are offering service. Your kids see you as examples of what to do and that includes how to deal with those who are serving you in a restaurant setting.

Don't forget in your own delight at the chance to get to your own meal, to take a minute to make sure kids have taken their napkin into their lap and that they know which silverware is appropriate to use for what foods. If you need a little review yourself, you can check on line for appropriate etiquette with silverware. Add to table behavior the joy of pleasant, jovial but not uproarious, conversation during dinner. Meals are supposed to be enjoyed, part of that enjoyment comes from shared conversation. If you are always complaining that your family doesn't sit down together now is the time to savor the moment. Pleasant conversation will help your kids relax into what may be an unusual setting and really get into the experience.

Set a good example for your kids by avoiding waste. If your wait staff doesn't offer to box leftovers, it is not impolite to make a request. When you finally pull back your chairs and head out give one more good example by thanking those who waited on you if they are near by and thanking the host or hostess who seated you. These small gestures will not be lost of your kids. You may be lucky enough to see them repeat those moves when they get a bit older.

Eating out can be a bit costly but with all the teachable moments they provide, you really will get your money's worth when you decide to take the family out to eat from time to time. In between times you will have plenty of behaviors to continue working on with your family. .