Economy in Crisis: A World News Light Special Report

Due to the Dow's historical *778 point drop today, World News Light is temporarily suspending all regular WNL editions to take a crash course in making mud huts and living off the land.

As politicians fight it out in Washington, and stockbrokers order triple martinis to calm rattled nerves on Wall Street, the average American citizen should cover her assets. Therefore, until the economy stabilizes, I hope you will find the following useful.

Surviving the Economic Crisis:

Mud huts 101.

Find some dirt and mix well with water and straw (or dollar bills from unscrupulous CEOs, Fannie Mae, or Freddie Mac, etc.).

Allow to dry in the sun.

Cut into large bricks.

Build hut walls. For the roof, use saplings for the frame and then cover with thatched grass or banana tree leaves--if you have access to banana tree leaves.

Stuff cracks in walls with more mud/straw/dollar bill mixture. Spray with thin stream of water to seal.

Relax and enjoy your new home.

Living off the land-- Food 101

Plant seeds in ground.

Water ground

Wait for many weeks.

While you are waiting, find book on edible plants.

Find edible plants.

Eat them.

Find locusts and grubs.

Fry them and eat them.

Sharpen piece of wood into sharp point to protect stash of edible plants and insects from unscrupulous CEOs and/or certain politicians.

Corn meal mush 101

Find dried kernels of corn.

Grind them into a coarse corn meal on a rock.

Mix the meal with water and cook over open fire.

Serve with politicians' leftover filet mignon from a congressional lunch break.

Other survival tips during this economic crisis:

Corral all Washington politicians into a pen and tell them, "No grubs, locusts, filet mignon, mush, or a vote for any of you until this economic crisis is sorted out."

Search for unscrupulous CEOs, etc. They will be easy to spot. Just follow the wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Strip them of their clothing. Your mud hut will need a door covering and drapes.

Tip: Be sure to wash the clothing in a river and beat the clothes on a rock. This will help remove any vermin from the fabric (you never know what these people may be hiding in their clothes).

Corral all unscrupulous CEOs, and other unscrupulous types, no matter their position on the corporate ladder, into a pen. They can later be used as beasts of burden during harvest time.

Source*

http://money.cnn.com/2008/09/29/markets/markets_newyork/index.htm?cnn=yes