E.D. Commercials: ALRIGHT, ALREADY

The onslaught on the American public by drug companies hawking their "performance enhancements" medications has been unmerciful. I am referring, of course, to the drugs designed to help with erectile dysfunction, also known as E.D. From 9:00pm until 6:00am, the public is bombarded by these commercials, some of which are totally misleading.

One of the ads claims to make a man larger, last longer, and perform better (That could be fun!). Possibly this medication may make a man larger and last longer, but if he was not proficient with his original equipment, a pill is not going to make him any better at it, except that the pitiful performance would just last longer.

Some of the companies boldly display their commercials during the day, when in days of economic prosperity, only women, children under the age of 6, and the children who were able to convince their parents that they were too sick to go to school watched TV. Perhaps, these days, there are more men watching. Keep in mind the single mom who has a 13 year boy who sports an erection for 23 out of 24 hours a day. His view is that there's no E.D. here. He must be blessed. He must be the phallic god. Or his little 4 year old brother, who has just discovered his magic wand and does not know all of its uses Right now, it's his own personal water hose. Then he sees these commercials, asks his mother about them, and she trys to explain that as a boy gets older, sometimes their magic wands begin to lose their potency. He becomes terrified! He holds onto it all the time to try to protect it. He thinks he won't be able to urinate and will explode from all of the excess water in his body. And what about the poor 7 year old daughter who asks about the commercial and is told that she won't have to worry about that because she doesn't even have one. SHE'S BEEN CHEATED!! SOMEONE STOLE HERS!! SHE WANTS ONE!! SHE'S DEFORMED!

Another misleading commercial is Santa Bob who is "living large" since he started taking his E.D. medications. He doesn't say a word in any of his commercials. He just stands there with that smile as if everything in the world is perfect now and his only concern is to make as many orgasm-starved women in the world happy. The commercial shows groups of 5 or 6 women pointing at Bob, with that "come, hither" look on their faces, hoping that Bob will choose her. ( Having been a woman all of my life, I know what is being said in those group forums, and it usually a conversation about their children, their worthless husbands, their jobs, or cooking and cleaning tips. It rarely is about a man's endowments. There is not a woman's version of "Get a load of those hooters, or check out the ta-tas"). The women are standing in a long line, with the first woman fidgeting and rubbing her hands, hoping for the chance to sit on Santa Bob's lap, and get a little of that "gift that keeps on giving" action.

Some of the commercials advise that if the erection lasts for longer than 3-4 hours call the physician. Isn't that part of the reason people take these drugs? If the man is in the middle of a 3 hour sexapaloosa, gets up, dresses, and goes to head to the doctor, he might as well have the physician take a look at that bump on the back of his head that he received when his partner threw that vase at him on his way out.

There are actually three divisions of male sexuality. The first being that of a young man where his main concern is V.D. Then comes the second phase, when he is concerned with E.D. And then the final phase, his main concern is D.E.A.D. After that it doesn't matter. But because of all of these medications, men can hope that they remain "Good to the last drop". (Oops, that's for coffee).