Education and Social Skills

You remember the home school kids you knew while growing up: a little strange, or really weird. No need to list the characteristics, most Americans can pull up a vivid picture without an offensive list. Parents in today's generation often fear the stigmas their own child might receive. One of the easiest ways to avoid the home school shame is to put your child in the public or private school that the Joneses choose. If nothing else, your child will then be socialized.

Yet, the strange phenomenon in this line of thinking is that the children exclusively need peers for socialization. What is socialization or rather, what is it that parents want their children to achieve socially at school? For the purpose of this article, parents desire their child to participate actively in a social setting or as a companion.

Other than public education, there is no other time in life when people are grouped exclusively by age. The classroom is not a natural setting. It is not necessary for a child to spend forty hours a week in a classroom in order to function; he can easily be a success both in and out of the classroom without that experience.

Any American can reflect and acknowledge the first days of school were quite similar. The students learn how the teacher works. She shows them where all the important classroom supplies are instructs on their use. She sets parameters for the way students will interact with one another. Students learn what they must do and anticipate the consequences if they do otherwise. The teacher gives all the rules (or socialization guidelines) at the beginning of the year.

This structure varies little from kindergarten to college. On the first day of kindergarten students are taught to stand, push in their chairs, get in line calmly, and walk without talking. They learn to put their pencils, papers, and jackets in specific locations. If they fail, they are reminded and eventually punished. It is all about a system. By college, the professor makes it more concise by handing out a syllabus that he proceeds to read to his students. He explains how each section of the class will work and gives the consequences that will ensue if the students don't meet the requirements.

When parents eliminate home schooling as an option simply because it limits socialization, they are confused about the source of socialization. It is the teacher that is providing the structure and the interaction that gets accredited to the classmates. The teacher socializes the child; therefore socialization is not limited to a classroom experience. It can and does happen quite naturally outside the traditional classroom.

Children should be given opportunity to regularly interact with people. Some of these interactions should be with the same people on routine occasions, so that relationships can be developed. This sort of interaction can easily be achieved with neighbors, family members, or team mates. Other interaction should be fostered, even at an early age. Children can be given the opportunity to interact with the store clerk, mail man, or doctor. Discuss what might be appropriate to say to an individual to prepare your child, and in time, natural socialization will occur.

Each child is unique in their desire to form relationships and communicate with others. Consider your child's personality (especially if it contrasts with your own) and help him to become a social creature according to his natural tendencies.