Effective Parenting: Friends and Foes

There is nothing worse than to tell your teen that their friends are not really friends. If you have a good relationship with your teen then you know how socially active they can be and you know a lot about those friends they hang around with. But what about your teen telling you of strange and even disturbing facts about these 'friends'? Some parents just can't bring themselves to say something about these issues and trust that their children will learn for themselves and they alone will deal with it. This is the wrong way to handle this problem.

I have heard many parents say "well, I tried to tell them but they just got mad so I dropped it and changed the subject..." YOU WHAT????

Despite what some parents believe, when your child becomes a teen you do NOT stop parenting! If anything you become more diligent in showing them the rights and wrongs and in and outs of relationships and life in general. This effective parenting article can explain a little more on this subject.

Effective Parenting: Friends

Encouraging friendships is a vital job for parents. It will promote love and support for them in the future and can help them tremendously when you are not there. It is important to discuss what types of friends your child should flock with, this will help them make wise choices and will keep them out of trouble.

It is also mandatory to make sure that your child is open with you and comes to you to share information should something seem wrong or out of the ordinary. Only then are you able to stop something terrible from happening.

Keeping up on the friends that are influencing your child is good, if you have doubts about behavior or activities then you should talk to your kids and let them know your concerns... this will allow them to see your point and watch for dangerous issues.

Effective Parenting: Foes

Imagine your child coming to you and telling you of a 'friend' that has done something wrong. Some parents would simply say 'stay away from them' (but never really follow through with the actual parenting aspect) or say "oh well, some kids are just different than you, it is nothing to worry about" which allows the child to think this type of behavior is okay.

There are many situations these days that could be inserted into this scenario.

1. drugs or drug activity
2. date rape
3. abusive actions
4. self mutilation

The above are common elements in troubled children and your children may get caught in the middle. It is essential that you keep the lines of communication open and constantly tell your children what behavior is and is not appropriate and when telling someone about it is pertinent.

This type of effective parenting can mean the survival of your child in later years and a strong sense of right and wrong that will last a lifetime. Without your guidance it is amazing what they will assume to be acceptable.

Effective Parenting: Encouraging good Decisions

It is mandatory that we, as parents, remain focused on bringing the best guidance possible to our children. Every time we encourage good decisions, even when it seems difficult at the time, we are expressing to our kids the importance of it.

If a friend is not truly a friend, which means your child has tried time and again to get through to them but has only failed, then it is clearly time to let that person go. This is a heart breaking ordeal but one that is absolutely necessary if your child is going to lead a normal life without being sucked into dangerous situations.

Remember, sometimes the best decisions are the hardest to make.

Effective Parenting: Guidance

Having a child is not all about bedding down with a temporary mate and accidentally conceiving because you do not know the meaning of self control. Effective parenting comes from a loving couple that is ready for the life long commitment that it takes to dedicating yourself to the supervision of another human being. Some parents have no idea what this means and are only 'along for the ride.' People practice this should do the children a favor and pout them up for adoption where there are loving parent waiting to adopt.

Guidance comes in the form of making your children eat what is given to them even if they don't like the veggies, saying no and standing firm when you know something is not good for them, being active with them, opening the lines of communication daily, caring about what is happening in their daily lives regardless of their age, teaching them right and wrong through both words and actions, setting rules and laws and making sure they are abided by, encouraging good behavior and disciplining the bad, and making sure that friendships are beneficial and not destructive.

Effective Parenting: In Closing

I hope this has helped those of you that see some of these problems affecting your children but do not know how to approach it. Often failing at something is not because of the lack of trying but because of ignorance. When a person becomes educated and has support from others like them their jobs become easier and they can succeed. Being a parent is much more than having sex and obtaining the product of the act - but instead is a duty to use effective parenting skills with love, devotion, common sense and security that will build a loving, healthy, happy, good natured and successful person.